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January 31, 2012


Before my husband and I got married, he wanted to try and impress me with a romantic meal. He decided to experiment with pork in geranium jelly. Needless to say it was inedible so we ended up having to eat scrambled egg on toast. :-( Worst romantic meal ever?! I think so... :-(

I'd been seeing my 'not-boyfriend,-just-a-lad-i'm-seeing-at-moment' for all of a month and a half and valentines day was coming up. He knew I was a bit of a commitment-phobe, so had some dilemma over valentines day... ignore it or acknowledge it in a very low key manner. He chose the acknowledge it option and went for 1 red rose to be sent to me. Unfortunately he'd left it til the day before and they would ONLY send a dozen red roses! Totally over the top, but he felt like he had little choice! They arrived at my work with... a balloon saying 'I love you'! I very nearly finished it there and then, only a call to a bestie mate prevented me as she said 'so far this is his only mistake, give him chance'. Fast forward a couple more months and a drunken confession that he didn't want to send a dozen roses and his horror that the balloon had been added, all was well! Well enough for 7 amazing years of marriage and 2 fabulous kids (who are BIG fans of your smoothies!). Oh, and a bestie mate who is still dines out on her 'saving your non-relationship at the time' moment with free drinks whenever we go out!

My new bofriend wrote my name in enormous toliet paper letters on a feild, and we climbed to the top of a tree to see it at sunset. Not only had he spelt my name wrong, he also fell out of the tree, sprained his wrist, and we had to spend 4 hours in a and e... But, luckily, he is a lovely person really, so we are still togther! :)

This valentine's day will be the worst one... what a prediction!! I know this because not only is my bf in the Navy and will be away for it.... but when told 'Isn't it sad that you'll be away for Valentine's?' replied...'don't worry it's a fake holiday anyway!'....Great! definitely wont be getting surprise flowers then!

My unromantic boyfriend of 7 years bought me a half dead bunch of flowers, a card with a picture of his ex's cat on,and..wait for it..a tumble drier! Needless to say I finally saw the light and have recently found a lovely man that loves to spoil me as much as I do him ;) there is always hope!

When I was a teenager and recovering in hospital from an operation, my then boyfriend brought me in a card on valentines day with another girls name crossed out and mine written next to it! Needless to say we split up shortly afterwards.

Me and my boyfriend live in different countries. But over Valentines, he is coming. What we need is each other but a good breakfast would make a nice addition.

I once received a blanket and a cryptic nonsensical poem from a friend who turned into a bit of an obsessed stalker. Needless to say it didn't change my feelings for him for the better.

My boyfriend gave me a pencil that never runs out of lead for valentines day. I still don't understand what it means but he was that impressed with his own gift I excepted it with with a huge smile on my face :)......he is a big geek so maybe I should be grateful lol

Last year I thought the ideal valentines present was a weekend away trip for my girlfriend except I forgot to tell her we were going to a rugby match until an hour before the game."less than impressed" being understatement of the year.I think this would be the perfect way to beat last year's disipointment!!

My parents have given each other the same Valentine's cards for the past 20+ years. They haven't even written in them, they just pull them out of the drawer, put them on a shelf for a day and then put them back in the drawer. Thrify, yes. Romantic, no. So maybe I should donate the hamper to my folks? Nope, they obviously won't appreciate it - I would like the hamper for my boyfriend and I to share to prevent us from treading down the same unromantic path!

Me and my boyfriend last year agreed not to get anything big. I was very happy when I saw a big heart shaped box but when I opened it I saw dog treats! Don't worry it was an accident, he loves his dog very much and thought it would be nice for her to get something too (a very kind man)It was lucky I didn't eat any!

A few minutes ago me and my girlfriend were trying to make a fake story for this competition. She was sat on my lap and she thought it'd be hilarious to fart on my lap. It was so horrible we both ran out the room. The Valentine's hamper will be perfect for us to show our sympathy for her falling down the stairs upon exit.

As a foolish young man, I used to assume that Valentine's Day was for people who were unable to spontaneously and genuinely announce their love for their partner (at any time of the year). I counted myself as being outside of this category. As I said, foolish. It is only now at 49 that I realise what the thing is all about. So, on driving off for a romantic Valentine weekend once, my girlfriend at the time enquired as to the whereabouts of her card. I informed her that I don't do that sort of ballyhoo and that if she could buy one and I would happily sign it. After the attack (and getting the car back on the road) we ended up getting married. We're now happily divorced, the story often used as proof of my deep rooted lack of commitment from the start! But it did at least teach me one thing: How important it is to say I love you when I'm told to do so!

Well... my boyfriend means well, but a happy birthday card for an 8 year old boy and a bottle of tropical lube did not amuse me one bit! nor him when I chucked it out the window... the pirate on the birthday card was at least ginger like him... but he really should've got me the pinapples bananas & coconuts smoothie- pretty tropical, and both our favourite! if I did win, it would make our day, since he is in the jungle, and has been since beginning of january... :( but is coming back in march... safe to say I wont be getting anything this year (not even a text...)

An exboyfriend of mine romantically decided to get me some "sexy" undies for Valentines day- A suitable gift for his 19 year old girlfriend you might think.
However, it appeared that in his panic and confusion in the underwear department he had purchased a training bra with matching knickers! ... not so sexy

On a sixth-form trip abroad, I was excited about a blossoming crush on a lad from a different school who'd been staying in the same resort.

To my delight, the night before we were due to leave (on Valentine's Day), he told me he had a present for me.

My girlfriends gathered around as he handed me the carrier bag. I gleefully opened it to find a large, fluffy, heart-shaped cushion with a transparent plastic pouch in the middle. In the pouch were two condoms - one green and one red.

I looked up in horror and saw the expectant look on the boy's face, as he asked "Well?".

Needless to say, we scurried back into our room, and the horrific heart went straight in the bin (after some shrieking and throwing it at each other).

And they say romance is dead!

An ex boyfriend of mine once didn't bother with V-Day. I did. I had gone all out. I bought him a card, chocolates, something cuddly etc etc. I got home from work to NOTHING. When I later expressed my disappointment (in a tactful, non-needy way) he threw a strop, stormed out and returned ten minutes later with a tube of fruit pastilles in a petrol station carrier bag, thrust them at me with a grunt and sat down to watch tv. Lovely. Happy to say new bf is much more romantic, so I would love to win a hamper to share with him. Because he's lovely.

I had been going out with a lovely lad for a few months when I turned 18. Okay, so the 'what to get your new girlfriend for her birthday' dilemma is always a tricky one and I guess it must be a lot more difficult when the birthday in question is a 'big' one, BUT... he got me a book... about economics. Yes, really.

As it turns out the story has a good ending... we are now happily married after he learned that diamond rings are a better present than boring financial tomes!

My first married Valentine's Day present was a bog standard pair of green wellies! The reasoning behind them simply being that my husband thought I could do with a new pair!

an external hard disk drive, I mean practicality over romance all the way. Needless to say my jaw dropped..well, only after asking him with eyes of surprise..what is it?

My husband proposed to the back of my head whilst we were watching Hollyoaks, I promptly burst into tears as it was such an awful proposal, 3 months later and still without an engagement ring when I said everyone was beginning to think I had made up that I was engaged I got taken to 2 jewellers and told to choose a ring from the sale section - 12 years and 3 children later I'm still not sure why I said yes!!

My 'ex hubbie', was never the most romantic man...never got a valentine card from him, but one year he brought in a large box n thinkig, aww how romantic opened it with gusto to find a set of saucepans.....well how they didn't land on his head I'll never know!!!

One Valentine's Day I was terribly ill with the stomach flu. I also couldn't read without getting a headache. My husband brought home a gift, which I had hoped were unassuming flowers...he had gotten me a book I couldn't read, as well as a kit for baking cookies which I couldn't eat. Not even cookies mind you, but a kit so I could make them myself. I was ill for another several days. Probably the worst V-day ever!

When I was younger, my boyfriend got me nothing (not even a card!) but made me go over to his house ON THE TRAIN in nothing but underwear and a coat... he only lasted a month more!

The first item I received, a love letter from a boy in class who couldn't spell particularly well (to be expected at that age). Unfortunately, mistakes included the opening line "My dear sweat dream..."

Husband of not very long decided to buy me a really romantic birthday present. I unwrapped, excitedly, the heavy object and inside was a box. Written along the side was 'Black and Decker'. My mind was already in overdrive thinking perhaps he'd just used a box already in his possession, but no! I carefully opened the box to find - a steam iron.

We are still married, a quarter of a century later and eventually the dent in his head will disappear ...

When I first got my iPhone I had a terrible habit of managing to drop it frequently, rushing about town in some sort of 'buy, buy, sell, sell' fashion. I managed to bounce it off a few pavements and even dropped it in a couple of puddles too. That year I got a black rubber phone protector for Valentines much for romance!

Worst valentines present I got was a pair of rubber gloves with my name written on the cuff in biro! I wasn't a happy bunny!

Valentine's Day is also my birthday, so bear in mind that this story is doubly tragic.
For our first Valentine's day together, my ex got me a pair of cufflinks with pictures of his dog on them. I do not own a shirt that takes cufflinks... he does though!
Weirdly enough, I stayed with him for nearly a year after this- maybe I'm not as smart as I like to think sometimes!

Last years Valentine was one that I will never forget. My birthday and Valentines day are of the same day. My husband lost his job the day before and my 3 children were all sick with chicken pox. Really truly, no card, no flowers and a miserable tired, sad day for us all.

Two words- car insurance

Last Valentine's Day I was in the French Alps on a snowboarding season. I broke my collarbone about a week before Valentine's day and found out my boyfriend slept with my room mate the day after I went home for treatment!

I arrived back in resort on Valentine's day and was determined to have a good night so headed out to the bar with my friends with my arm all slinged up.

There was a French ski instructor named 'Valentin' pronounced val-en-tan....who was lapping up the attention of the connection of his name.

He struts over to me, starts chatting me up in a very sexy French accent...and slams his hands down on my shoulders. I screamed and yelled C'est Casse! C'est Casse! (It's broken!) and he responded with ''Is this casse?!'' pointed at his lips and then lunged at me for a kiss.

Needless to say I was pretty much in tears from the pain but in hysterics from the best chat-up line I ever received.

I did not kiss him back, went home and took a few more painkillers. Here's hoping this year is a little brighter!!!

It's not a Valentine Day story, but for my birthday (which is only 2 1/2 weeks after Valentine so I thought it would count). My boyfriend gave me a little present in the morning over breakfast, telling me that the big one would come in the evening, after the lovely diner he would be cooking for us. While he was cooking, a message arrived on his phone (which he left on the table, next to me) from a girl I had never heard of. I could only see the first line, but it looked all very strange and too intimate. So I went to the kitchen to ask a few questions... I spare you his answers about this girl that he met in a cafe, etc.... anyway, big argument, some shouting and lots of crying from my side. The dinner obviously got burned in the meantime, then turned cold. The worst bit: I never got my big present!!! Worst romantic dinner ever?? Yes, I think I qualify!

The worst Valentines present ever was from my fella before we married, he gave me a book which was in his office on boxing. Not only was it free but I hate boxing, what made it worse was his Housemate had prepared a three course meal, romantically laid table, gifts, card, the works for his girlfriend....totally gutted! I still have faith that one day he will get it right....after give years I am still waiting....maybe this year...

I once mentioned to an ex that I was a fan of Boyzone when I was 6 years old. Many months later I received a pair of tickets. For their reunion tour. As my main Christmas present. At the age of 22. Needless to say I wasn't impressed, and no wonder he is an ex!!!! xxx

My worst valentines day was 2 years ago when my ex boyfriend brought me a big pink box, and said that 'its not really a good gift' I thought he was being modest and proceeded to rip the lid off the box to find my missing cat's dead body in it. He said that we could use the box as a coffin and the flowers he had brought could go on top of the grave!

I cant really say that this is a story about a bad valentine gift because by far its the best valentine gift someone could recieve?!-13years ago this valentines day we had our first baby so as you can guess no present is ever going to top that but the sad thing is its never going to be a lovely dovey valentines day as its over shadowed by a birthday!(wouldnt change it for anything)but a hamper full of goodies would be nice as a treat?x

My husband thinks potatoes are more romantic than flowers, as they last longer, you can grow more potatoes from the first one (eternal potato love?!), you can power things from them, and they come in many forms. He also bought me an enormous colander one year so I'd stop splashing him with hot water when we made potatoes or pasta. Romantic!

Despite being married 11 years to a lovely man, I have never received a valentines card or present, boo hoo! but at least I can't moan on about how rubbish they were... x

Never had a romantic gesture, never had a Valentine, never had a relationship. Have tried and failed miserably for about 30 years now but have never successfully asked anyone out and never been asked out by anyone. Am getting too old for all this and absolutely hate Valentines Day....

A few years ago my now ex-boyfriend forgot to get me anything for Valentine's day even though we'd been going out for 4 years at this point.
We'd gone out for a romantic meal (which I'd paid for) and someone came round selling red roses for charity in the restaurant. When the lady got to our table he told me 'if you want one you can buy it yourself because it's a waste of money'. So I ended up buying it myself out of embarrassment.
After this I gave him the card and present I'd bought him. He started to feel a bit guilty about not getting me anything at this point so he crossed our names out on the card I'd given him and switched them over then handed the card back to me.
Needless to say I am no longer seeing him.

my boyfriend's mother who I'd never met before turned up on my doorstep early on valentine's morning to "surprise us". We couldn't turn her away as she'd driven over 300 miles but it completely ruined the day plus my boyfriend had bought me a tea towel set which he thought would be useful - I could have strangled him with it!

Thanks to give these type of information

At college there was a guy who decided that I was the only one for him (note to self- if you attempt to climb trees in public, you can attract oddballs). He was really quite intense and my friends and I struggled to get away from him. On deciding that the full-on approach was getting him nowhere, he decided to try another tact- and showered ALL of us in gifts, in the hope that my friends would then encourage the liasion, and that I would be won over by his generous nature. They didn't, and I wasn't.

my husband bought me a necklace for valentines day that was too tight and made me feel as though I had a fat neck. I said to him that the thought was lovely. But the next year he did exactly the same again.When I asked him how he did the same thing he said he quickly ran into a shop, grabbed a necklace and paid and ran out again!!?That's love for you :}

Last year my commitment phone boyfriend, after much nagging, agreed to pick me up from work so we could spend the evening together... he drove to the local gym where of course we exercised seperately and then to the supermarket cross the road where I could pick my "romantic" dinner, as long as it wasn't too unhealthy! Later, when I have him his card, he told me off for trying to make him feel bad as in all the planning of our evening he hasn't bought me one... I'm not evening bothering this year!!

This one is a bit sad I'm afraid...I had been seeing a guy for a couple of weeks and was quite excited At the idea of a Valentines with him! So he called me over said he had something to tell me!
I got all dolled up and went over where he said well "we arnt going out", I was fine with this, assuming he meant for dinner!
So we ate what was a fairly odd dinner of chips egg and beans (minus the beans for me yuk). And then he turned to me and said "when I said we arnt going out, I mean we arnt together anymore". Needless to say I was a tad suprised, not that bothered
Because if you are going to dump someone on valentines day it says a lot about that person! So that was a bad valentines gift of dumpdom!
Anyway that was years ago and I am about to Spend my first valentines with my lovely guy of 9 months! We are moving in together 3 days befor valentines so v exciting but will probably have a quiet eve as we need to buy a fridge to put all our smoothies in still :-) every cloud has a silver lining!! Thanks xx

I had been going out with my boyfriend for about 2 years and he was really looking forward to valentines day. He doesnt normally bother so I started thinking along the lines of a nice piece of jewellary, perfume, even engagement ring?...

The day came and I was soo excited,but I couldnt hide my disappointment when I unwrapped the new shrek dvd and a bottle of "Channel" (cheap version of Chanel from the market). Gutted was not the word!

We are still together but now he asks me what I would like or I drop very big hints! I can laugh about it now but was so upset at the time because I felt he hadnt made an effort and my dreams of a fairytale wedding quickly disappeared!

My then-boyfriend and I were renovating a ranshackle house and were living with no heating and hot water through a freezing winter. Every spare pound was going on the house, so you'd think Valentine's would be a perfect opportunity to spoil each other....or perhaps not! I was "treated" to a chopping board as my V-day pressie....but I can't complain too much as I bought him tea towels! Oh the romance!

After spending weeks deciding on a present for my boyfriend, I was very excited when my boyfriend declared 'I'll be right back'. Expecting a lovely heart felt card and present he surprised me with a loo roll wrapped in loo paper stuck together with plasters...apparently it is the thought that counts.

A pineapple! There were 3 reasons why my husband bought me a pineapple as a romantic gesture.

1) it looked arty
2) it reminded him of our honeymoon
3) he hated the fact I buy tinned pineapple

He regretted his purchase as soon as he started to prepare it - he now knows why I only ever buy tinned pineapple!

Looking forward to my first Valentine with my lovely BF this year - no matter what he does, he could never compete with the awfulness of my ex.
I used to cook a nice 3 course meal for the ex and I every year, including meat for him which is a big deal as I'm a veggie and have been most of my life. I'd get him presents, made him things, and even once bought HIM flowers. And what was the "best" gift I ever received from him? A dehumidifier one year. Yes my flat was a touch on the damp side, but really? When I must have seemed a little crestfallen, he pointed out that it was expensive so I should be more greatful. Charming.
Roll on this year, with a lovely chap who actually knows me!

When we were engaged, 2 years ago, my lovely husband took me out to pizza hut to commemorate valentines day. He's not very good at gifts and sweet gestures; he was late in coming out of working, so he went in his work clothes, he forgot his wallet so borrowed money off me, and then even though I felt ill he HAD to get some take away pizza! Whilst he bought some freezing cold pizza I found a bush to throw up in, and that was the end of the negligable romantic atmosphere. Last year it passed without him noticing - we were busy sorting out our new home. This year we won't get opportunity to, because now we've got a cute little baby but he requires constant attention. So valentines day won't get celebrated big style, but with the loving husband I have I can cope without the chocolate and flowers!!

I broke the fork I use to muck-out my horse with, fairly near to February 14th. My boyfriend bought me a new one - for Valentine's Day! He chose a pink one, which was some kind of consolation, I guess. However, as he stood and watched me use it and didn't lift a finger to help, I struggled tin the search for feelings of gratefulness.

I received a tow rope for my old car last year for valentines day a box of chocs is always more appreciated we are still together and occasionally being towed around

After just splitting up with a boyfriend when I was a teenager I received a Valentine's card in the post which read 'Valentine there's only one way to describe how I feel about you... X', I was heartbroken & took it to mean 'ex', my parents kept saying 'no, it's a big kiss' but I wasn't convinced! I think maybe they'd sent it to cheer me up & it backfired!

my husband thought he was being romantic by buying me 4 new tyres for my car for valentines day!!! I thought he was joking and would appear with a bunch of flowers at the least, but apparently not, new tyres were put on the car and he thought it was a great gift and couldnt understand why I didn't appreciate them!

I was in a long distance relationship with a guy who lived on the Isle of Wight - we kept in touch mainly through writing letters so I was pretty psyched to get a lovely package in the mail on Valentines day. Even when the parcel I was imagining tured out to be a medium Jiffy envelope, I was still pretty excited! However, this excitment soon turned into total disappointment/incredulity when I opened the envelope to find a signed photograph of my boyfriend, and a note instructing me to put it next to my bed. Needless to say, I was singularly unimpressed and called off the whole shebang soon after that.

I'd been living with my (now ex) boyfriend for several years. He never was very good at presents (silver guinea pig head earrings?) but Valentine's brought out the worst...

For some odd reason one February, as he never usually did any, he was ironing when he knocked the board over, breaking the iron.

The replacement was my Valentine's gift that year - tastefully presented in an Argos carrier bag.

The following year, he popped out "to get me something I'd really appreciate as a gift".

I wasn't hugely confident when given a big bag bearing the logo of a famous chain of DIY stores. I had been given ... a loo seat. A loo seat to replace another item he'd broken...

I wonder why I spent quite so long with him, looking back!

I was with my boyfriend for 5 years and birthday happened to be on Valentines Day, for 5 years he had 2 lots of presents and 2 lots of being spoilt! I got nothing except a pair of Valentines Day socks for 5 years.

I have just proposed to my better half in the city of love (Paris)!

I decided to visit Versailles and found the perfect location in a sun facing temple.

I decided to buy some time (get the ring ready and prepped from the engagement box by asking her to tie my shoelaces :0) then as she rose I went down on one knee...and she said YES!!!

I tend to eat potatoes on a regular basis (stay with me here)- not to an obsessive extent but I do enjoy eating chips, mashed or boiled on a somewhat regular basis. Like most people I imagine. For our first Valentines my current boyfriend thought he would really use the practical side of his man brain to get me a 25kg bag of potatoes. It was massive and full of muddy spuds. Bearing in mind we were in a long distance relationship at the time(London to Somerset), carrying it back on a busy train was a further issue. We agreed I'd carry about 10kg worth back with me on a busy train to London- and he would regularly send me the rest or pop a few in his bag when he came to visit. An odd gift but it meant Valentines lasted for at least 3 months. Odd but not too shabby. I'm not sure if this goes in the 'best' or 'worst' category

I was once given an apron and a rolling pin as a Valentines Day gift from my wonderful EX boyfriend!

I don't really have much of a story except I found out for valentine's day my ex was cheating on me. So I gorged on expensive chocolates, burnt the flowers and downed the champagne. Then woke up horribly hung over and returned the engagement ring.

Valentines Day 1995 - my husband (then boyfriend) sent me his toenail that had fallen off, sellotaped inside a valentine's card.

I'd been seeing my now ex-boyfriend for a few years. I worked shifts at my local pub. I think Valentines must have fallen on a week day as I ended up working the weekend before or after but my boyfriend drove all the way from his to come and see me. No flowers, no card, just him propping up the bar with a pint watching me work. I had done a split shift and was so hungry when I called last orders I grabbed a packet of nuts and pretty much downed them in one go. I then had a drink after my shift, chatting to the manager and eventually drank up and left. My boyfriend was waiting for me near my car and as we hadn't seen much of each other that Valentines week we had a cheeky kiss in the car park. It was late and I was tired so I said my goodbyes and started off home. I thought it was odd that my boyfriend followed me all the way home. I got out of my car and knocked on his window asking what was wrong. He wound down the window and I burst out laughing - he looked like Mick Jagger! His lips were all swollen and his face was quite puffy. Then I realised I had eaten a packet of nuts and he had quite a severe nut allergy! It was still early stages of our relationship and I honestly thought having a drink would wash the nut traces away! I then had to drive him to A+E as he couldn't see by this point and abandoned my car as near to the hospital as I could. Ringing his parents at 1 in the morning to let them know their son had had an allergic reaction was the cringiest moment ever! Luckily everyone saw the funny side and thank god he was alright! Not exactly the most romantic Valentines ever but definitely one to remember.

My ex tended to be overly romantic, he'd hide presents around the place for me to find, tell me he loved me, held my hand in public - he was my first proper boyfriend and I thought in my late teens we'd get married and live happily ever after - except for the fateful valentines day I got flowers delivered with some chocolates with peanuts (I'm allergic)and a note with the flowers signed by him and a card...the card was addressed to me but inside it had a handwritten declaration of love to a different girl! Turns out he wasn't just that romantic with me...I didn't stay long enough to find out who Phillipa was!!

I was 14 years old and in secondary school; I was "in love" and had had a crush on one of the boys in my class for almost a year.

That valentines day, I decided that I would buy him the biggest red rose I could find (I had saved my lunch money for it) and finally tell him my feelings...

Just before I presented him with the rose, he chose that moment to tell me that he got a girlfriend over the weekend, and wanted me to know first as I was "such a good friend".

I was friend-zoned, heartbroken and very skint that week. (The rose ended up in the bin)

Much happier now, though!

I was delighted to recieve a beautiful orchid one valantine. However it later came out that this had been given away as a promotion at the railway station so was not really from my other half at all :(

I had been seeing this guy for almost a year and for our first valentine's day together he bought me a box of teabags! Just a normal box of english breakfast, I wouldn't mind (too much) but I'm a coffee kind of gal and NEVER drink tea, the thought what was he thinking amongst other things came to mind! Suffice to say it didn't last (phew).

My Husband generally forgets completely. It's gotten to the point where my Mum and Sisters will text him to remind him or even go out and buy me something themselves!

He has famously never bought me flowers since we got married 6 years ago!

We don't usually have a lot of spare cash as I'm at stay-at-home mum so we're living off just his wages but I'm not expecting huge bunches of flowers or diamonds, just breakfast in bed would do!

The boy I was with gave me a box of chocolates........not only was it open and half eaten but I'm lactose intolerant =(

Not a valentines "gift" but a Christmas one...or not. On Christmas 2 years ago, my husband forgot to make me a stocking up (I make up 4 stockings, one for hubby and 3 for our boys). So Christmas Eve was all panic stations for my husband once he remembered(it is also my middles sons birthday). Christmas morning came and he presented me with a stocking. Inside was a packet of handy tissues (taken from my cupboard), a small packet of chocolates (purchased from Tescos very last minute), the usual satsuma and the piece de resistance - a memory stick that he had knocking about in his work bag (promotional item from work)!!!!! It was so bad it made it good! Well I keep telling myself that!!

At school I fell victim to some bullies and endured a fair few mean pranks. None worse than as an awkward 14year old when I received a card on Valentine's day asking me to meet my secret admirer behind the libary at lunch. After doing a joyous little dance in the toilet cubicle (Someone LIKED me!) I duly went to the meeting place only to have flour and water thrown on me :(

I cant afford therapy but a lovely hamper might help (and thankfully I now have someone lovely to share it with) ;) x

After having our kitchen redone at quite an expense my husband decided to be a little more frugal with my Valentine present and bought me a cheesegrater. After the disappointment registered, he did plead that it was a fabulous cheesegrater from a really exclusive kitchen shop in the Pantiles. i know what i would have liked to grate.

My (now ex) husband's Valentine's Day gifts three years running were a hoe, an iron and a frying pan. I thought I might win with these gifts. However after reading all of the postings so far, I think the winner should be the woman who received the toenail in a card. Eeeuuuwww

I've only ever received something on one Valentines day (get the violins out). I received not 1 but 3 cards from my (now ex) boyfriend. Turns out he'd sent his mate to the shop to buy me a card, his friend couldn't decide so bought 3 for him to choose from. So he didn't "waste money" (his words) he'd decided to give all 3 of them to me. Unfortunately he'd left the price sticker from a well known budget card shop on the back of each card and he'd spent a grand total of £1.17!! To "waste" 39p per card would have been so tragic! To add insult to injury I found out he'd done the same thing to his other girlfriend (yes, he was two-timing me) who he's now married to!

I think I really need the hamper to take the bitter taste out of my mouth!

One valentines i was surprised by my bf with a slap up meal and the ultimate dining experience. However, on arrival at his house I was greeted by my best friend Andy dressed as a butler ready and waiting to take my coat and show me to my candlelit table. For the rest of the night i (and my boyfriend!) were waited on hand and foot(and all out of the goodness of Andy's heart). Needless to say, err extremely awkward (and possibly the best friend a girl could hope for) and i reckon a hamper to share with him would be a perfect way to make it up!

The night before my last exam at University, my (then) boyfriend told me on the phone that he was going to propose to me when we were on holiday in Rome the following month. I was sooooo excited, immediately told all my friends, couldn't concentrate on revision/ exam, couldn't sleep etc etc. After my exam the fOllowing day, I called my boyfriend excitedly re: engagement aaaaaand... He told me he'd changed his mind and hadn't been serious.

A boyfriend (of several years...!!) decided to surprise me on valentines day with a day out he had booked for us the following weekend. It was a little bit vague in terms of what the day out would be but I figured after so long together he would know me well enough to pick something we could both enjoy.
When we turned up at the location I saw signs for a butterfly and exotic bird sanctuary... knowing he wouldnt possibly take me there I said 'Its a good job you're not taking me there, you know I'm petrified of birds and dont like things with wings'. His face turned slightly pale as we pulled into the car park and he produced the entrance tickets to the bird and butterfly emporium.
So as not to upset him I figured I'd brave it... until we got in there and a bird flew and landed on my head. I screamed, ran out of there faster than linford christie and stood crying and throwing up in the car park for a good 20 minutes until he eventually came out to find me. Only to tell me 'the ticket guy said we can go back in when you're ready'. Needless to say I did not go back in!
A few months later (we were still together, just about) we went on holiday and in a bid to impress him I booked horse riding lessons. He is scared of horses.
We're not together any more, surprisingly. And I am still scared to death of birds and scarred from the days trauma.

Nothing says love like a Wallace & Gromit television remote control holder, or at least that is what my ex thought! Needless to say I hid in the bathroom and cried!

Back in primary school, probably Year 1, I received a Valentine's envelop which contained a blank piece of card and some fresh slobbery saliva from an unknown person...never found out who this romantic person was!

My worst present was when I was a teenager and my then boyfriend presented me with a hideous pink fluffy cushion. It later emerged that this had been stolen from his sister's bed and his Mother demanded that he got it back. The worst present I've ever given was on valentines day last year when my husband requested a book on choosing the best oil for your car. Because nothing says 'I Love You' like a book on oil. We clearly need a romantic hamper in our lives!

For my first serious boyfriend, I thought long and hard about what I could get him for our first valentines together. I filled a bag with all the important things that meant something to us: favourite chocolate, a cd with our songs on it, cinema voucher to see a film with his favourite actor etc. etc. So after handing mine over, I waited all night patiently for mine, ideas brewing in my head as to what it could possibly be, and nothing. Come the 15th when I had to go he dragged me over to the main room and wrote my granny-style valentines card right in front of me. boo.

I received a text on Valentine' Day a good few years ago from my boyfriend apologising that the card he would have sent could not be delivered due to the long queue of Post Vans blocking the way to my house! A great get out for a forgottne card!

I once received my boyfriend's beard trimmings in a badger-adorned charity shop pencil case. Yes, we are still together...

My worst Valentine's was when I was 16 and in a long distance relationship. I arrived at his house on February 14th, after travelling for about 9 hours, to find that he wasn't at home, but was out for the evening, baby-sitting for someone he knew. He had, however, left a 'romantic' gesture for me in his bedroom - a red haired troll that, since he'd been away from his home, had been chewed on by his pet dog and was completely wrecked. It wasn't the greatest start to my visit, nor was it a great Valentine's day, but I suppose it's the thought that counts...

My music teachers son developed a crush on me when I was in the school play...this would have been fine except I was playing the part of a rat and he had to apply my make up! His mother then teased me for the rest of the year. He sent me tacky valentine's cards through her, which she delivered in front of the whole class....argh!

I was once given a box of after-eight mints for a Valentine's day present (not so bad in the scheme of things, you say!) which the boyfriend at the time then proceeded to eat in its entirety when I was out of the room. He grudgingly bought a replacement box a couple of days later. You can see where this is leading, I ate one then again the whole box was eaten by selfish-greedy-guts. I begged for him not to buy abnother box - for his health and wallet's sake (he was always borrowing money too, even though I just had a Saturday job while I was doing my A levels and he worked full time) - and I was deemed ungrateful and given the cold shoulder for days. No longer with him, needless to say, but he stil owes me the money that paid for the after-eaights and much more years later :-(

A boy at school once sent my a lovely red rose - because he "felt sorry for me and knew I wouldn't get anything from anyone else"!

After moving into our new home at the beginning of February , my EX husband thought it would be nice to buy me for Valentines Day some new bits and pieces for our new bathroom he wrapped them up in Valentines wrapping paper and I opened then with excitement . I expect the big smile on my face turned into a grimace as the first present I opened was .....a really nice .... TOILET BRUSH !! As I said , he's my EX !

I was the new girl and had just started working at a family restaurant and was being initiated into the night shift going out for chicken wings tradition.
The place we went to was a chain called Earls and for some bizarre reason that day they had these plush vultures all over the place as decor. There was a chap on my shift who I guess fancied me and as we were chowing down on wings he overheard me commenting on these vultures. Not sure why but he bought one when paying the bill and gave it to me at the end of the night. First and last time I have ever been presented with a stuffed vulture as a sign of affection.

My boyfriend isn't great at buying presents and it was my birthday while he was sitting his msc exams. I wasn't expecting a lot but figured I might get some jewellery from a certain online shop i'd been dropping hints about. Nope, I got a 24 pack of 7up and multipack of pork scratchings! I think he stopped in Macro on his way back from uni :(

First off, this story somewhat creeps me even to this day even though it happened over 7 years ago, but being the good sport I am I'm posting this to appease a coworker of mine who sent me this.

So, lets roll back, I'm in college. There's an artsy girl that has had her eye on me in class for awhile. I wasn't very interested in her because something about her said, "Hello. I'm crazy." So, I'm walking to the art building before class one sunny afternoon and bump into her. We awkwardly chat for a few moments and at some point a couple ants run across my toes, which were in sandals. I shake them off and awkwardly and say, "Gah! Ants must love me."

Now we fast forward to another class later in the week I had with her. I'm sitting at a table, waiting for class to start when she walks in and sits next to me. I'm trying my best not to be weird and I look at the floor. Then I focus on my lap. There were 5 dead ants on my lap. I swatted them off me in reflex mode and thought nothing of it. Then, I'm sitting there thinking, what are the odds a bunch of ants walk onto my lap and up and die within 10 minutes? Suddenly I realize the conversation I had with the girl earlier in the week. I stand up disrupting class, grab my stuff and move to the back. After that, she kept looking back at me as if to say, "I didn't mean it. Come back." Her friend later tried to explain the situation to me.

After that I was freaked out and my friends started referring to her as "dead ant girl." Whew. College was strange.

My boyfriend at university wanted to get me something original and alternative, so decided that it would be a good idea to buy me the film of the Marquis De Sade's "Justine".

I was not really expecting anything particularly romantic, but getting a story created by the man who invented sadism was a little bit of a surprise.

My ex-boyfriend gave me a Valentine "laugh or cry" moment with a wheelbarrow. To be fair, he knew I loved plants, the handles were resplendent with red ribbons, and it came with a soppy card. Just a shame that I lived in a flat at the time ...

When I did work experience as a teaching assistant one of the boys in the class I was helping walked over with a Card in a pink envelope. I Was quite confused until I saw that the boys rather handsome older brother was picking him up from school that day. It was a lovely valentines card. Until the Handsome brother walked over and said the card was meant for the other teaching assistant. Boy was I red faced expecially as I had accepted the invite for coffee written on the card as he was walking over.

At Valentine's day, we don't mind loving gestures that cost nothing; what we don't like are meaningless, thoughtless purchases, or cheapskates. So how about getting a gift of a large chocolate letter, only the letter is the first letter of your boyfriend's name and not your own. Not only did he have someone else on the hook who had given him the chocolate as a valentine's gift, but he decided without even looking at it to 'regift' it to me the same day. I think this one pretty much ticks all the boxes.

I was given a makeup lesson at a beauty salon by my (still!) husband ~ a lovely romantic thoughtful gesture? or a devastating unsubtle hint?!?!?!

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