Being a group of mature adults we like to write secret messages on the bottom of our smoothie bottles and then giggle like children because we've used the word bottom and no-one has told us off. You might have discovered them for yourself, and had a wee chuckle when you did.
Well, we're thinking about adding some new messages to our bottles, and thought you'd like to have a go at writing one. We did the same thing a few years back, which is how Iain's 'trapped in bottle factory, send help' came to be on millions of our little bottles.
The rules are pretty simple - add your suggestion as a comment to this blog post, using no more than 40 characters (including spaces), and we'll pick our favourite (or favourites if there are lots of good ones) on Tuesday 10th January. Next thing you know, you're a published writer, and people around the country are chuckling at your words, throwing money at you and asking you to be godparent to their child and stuff. Such is the power of the hidden message.
We'll also send our favourite entries a shed load of smoothies, of course. Remember - 40 characters, winners picked on Tuesday, enter as many times as you like, guaranteed fortune and fame awaits.
Good luck.
Psst.. do you want to know a secret?
Posted by: J K | January 10, 2012 at 12:31 PM
Do you think I have an innie or an outie?
Posted by: Stuart Rutherford | January 10, 2012 at 12:34 PM
Secrets of the universe await
Posted by: J K | January 10, 2012 at 12:35 PM
Too smoothielicious for you, babe?
Posted by: Rachel | January 10, 2012 at 12:35 PM
Boo!
Posted by: J K | January 10, 2012 at 12:37 PM
Surprise!
Posted by: J K | January 10, 2012 at 12:37 PM
I have a ticklish belly button
Posted by: Doodlewhale | January 10, 2012 at 12:39 PM
I'm tired of looking at the floor
Posted by: J K | January 10, 2012 at 12:41 PM
Fame and fortune await you
Posted by: J K | January 10, 2012 at 12:43 PM
Smile! You're on camera.
Posted by: J K | January 10, 2012 at 12:45 PM
Move along, nothing to see here
Posted by: J K | January 10, 2012 at 12:46 PM
My brother is a veg pot
Posted by: Trish | January 10, 2012 at 12:57 PM
The name's Bottle. A Bottle.
Posted by: Trish | January 10, 2012 at 12:58 PM
One day I am going to be a Veg Pot
Posted by: Doodlewhale | January 10, 2012 at 01:02 PM
my heart is in my bottom.
Posted by: milly | January 10, 2012 at 01:14 PM
You have changed my whole perspective
Posted by: Doodlewhale | January 10, 2012 at 01:17 PM
Innocent by name innocent by nature
Posted by: Carol white | January 10, 2012 at 01:19 PM
Binocular Left Eye
Posted by: Doodlewhale | January 10, 2012 at 01:26 PM
Binocular Right Eye
Posted by: Doodlewhale | January 10, 2012 at 01:27 PM
gone but not forgotten
Posted by: Sam | January 10, 2012 at 01:33 PM
I can see right through you, too
Posted by: Sam | January 10, 2012 at 01:34 PM
smoothie operator
Posted by: Sam | January 10, 2012 at 01:35 PM
Supersonic Smile Juice
Posted by: Stephen Shotton | January 10, 2012 at 02:04 PM
not so innocent down here
Posted by: Stephen Shotton | January 10, 2012 at 02:07 PM
i've just lost my innocence
Posted by: Stephen Shotton | January 10, 2012 at 02:10 PM
you've just sucked the fruit out of me
Posted by: Stephen Shotton | January 10, 2012 at 02:18 PM
Shake that bottom!
No chemicals in this bottom
You make my world upside-down
Nice shoes!
Posted by: Wafaa Lebbat | January 10, 2012 at 02:18 PM
i was feeling so fruity until you drunk me
Posted by: Stephen Shotton | January 10, 2012 at 02:19 PM
mmnn, now lick me out
Posted by: Stephen Shotton | January 10, 2012 at 02:21 PM
NO ENTRY!
Posted by: Rik | January 10, 2012 at 02:22 PM
i feel so empty inside
Posted by: Stephen Shotton | January 10, 2012 at 02:24 PM
I’m not an egg timer!
Posted by: Hannah | January 10, 2012 at 02:40 PM
innocent until proven gulpy!
Posted by: Alex | January 10, 2012 at 02:41 PM
How rude...
Posted by: Hannah | January 10, 2012 at 02:41 PM
May the fruit be with you...
Posted by: Alex | January 10, 2012 at 02:42 PM
Stop reading these and buy one!
Posted by: Denise McSpadden | January 10, 2012 at 02:45 PM
Boo!
Posted by: Lindsay Webber | January 10, 2012 at 02:52 PM
This is what you get for being fresh!
Smile, the staff are laughing at you ;)
Smile, you're on CCTV!
What do you think you're looking at?
What did you think you'd find down here?
Ha ha, caught you looking!
Posted by: Denise McSpadden | January 10, 2012 at 02:54 PM
One down four to go!
Posted by: Lindsay Webber | January 10, 2012 at 02:56 PM
ooops upside your head!
Posted by: Lindsay Webber | January 10, 2012 at 02:57 PM
This is the end. Goodbye world.
Posted by: Sam | January 10, 2012 at 03:12 PM
take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape.
Posted by: louie | January 10, 2012 at 03:21 PM
of all the juice joints in all the towns in all the world, you walk into mine.
Posted by: louie | January 10, 2012 at 03:22 PM
when eric eats a banana...
Posted by: louie | January 10, 2012 at 03:27 PM
Under no circumstances should this bottle be turned upside down! ...uh oh!
Posted by: Steve Hills | January 10, 2012 at 04:28 PM
You have found a secret message!
Posted by: Steve Hills | January 10, 2012 at 04:28 PM
100% non-flavoured flavoured plastic.
Posted by: Fraser | January 10, 2012 at 04:51 PM
Does not cure the common cold...yet.
Posted by: Fraser | January 10, 2012 at 04:53 PM
Warning: Black hole contained within!
Posted by: Fraser | January 10, 2012 at 05:02 PM
I'm impressed - are you?
Posted by: Paul Taylor | January 10, 2012 at 05:07 PM
We wanted to write something funny here
Posted by: Mike Tetstall | January 10, 2012 at 05:21 PM
Looking at my bottom - now who's fruity?
Posted by: Daniel Warriner | January 10, 2012 at 05:24 PM
Looking at my bottom - now who's fruity?
Posted by: Daniel Warriner | January 10, 2012 at 05:27 PM
I wasn't born innocent, I got blended!!
Posted by: R Lovelock | January 10, 2012 at 05:47 PM
No use crying over spilt juice!
Posted by: Joanna Clark | January 10, 2012 at 06:38 PM
Do you come here often?
Posted by: Steve Lillybeck | January 10, 2012 at 06:51 PM
Bottoms Up!
Posted by: KP | January 10, 2012 at 08:08 PM
G'day Mate... ;)
Posted by: KP | January 10, 2012 at 08:10 PM
NOT made in China.
Posted by: KP | January 10, 2012 at 08:14 PM
Not just any plastic bottle. I'm an innocent plastic bottle. ;)
Posted by: KP | January 10, 2012 at 08:20 PM
Hi, I'm Innocent. You must be..?
Posted by: KP | January 10, 2012 at 08:21 PM
I have nothing to say.
Posted by: KP | January 10, 2012 at 08:29 PM
The funny message you are looking for is no longer available.. Please try again later.. :)
Posted by: KP | January 10, 2012 at 08:37 PM
Help! someone is holding me up side down
Posted by: Kitty | January 10, 2012 at 08:52 PM
If you weren't looking here, you would have seen that cow fly by!
Posted by: Kitty | January 10, 2012 at 08:55 PM
Looking at my bottom is easy, but can you look at your own??
Posted by: Kitty | January 10, 2012 at 08:56 PM
Oh no! I can see the lid from here!
Posted by: Kitty | January 10, 2012 at 08:58 PM
Message on a bottle
Posted by: Kitty | January 10, 2012 at 09:03 PM
If you hold me up side down one more time, I will go bananas!
Posted by: Kitty | January 10, 2012 at 09:12 PM
Bottoms up...or is it bottoms down? I get so confused!
Posted by: Faye lansdell | January 10, 2012 at 09:33 PM
If you love my bottom,check out my insides
Posted by: Faye lansdell | January 10, 2012 at 09:39 PM
do not pass go. do not collect £200.
Posted by: louie | January 11, 2012 at 12:02 AM
pour in lolly moulds, freeze & ta daaaa!
Posted by: louie | January 11, 2012 at 12:07 AM
This is my dark side
Posted by: Doodlewhale | January 11, 2012 at 12:17 AM
Empty? Now you feel gooood! :)
Posted by: Sara Herbert | January 11, 2012 at 11:53 AM
My bottom was cold sitting in the fridge! :(
Posted by: Sara Herbert | January 11, 2012 at 11:54 AM
I'm always half full, never half empty!
Posted by: lucy heathershaw | January 11, 2012 at 04:52 PM
All ur smoothie are belong to us
Posted by: mel | January 11, 2012 at 06:06 PM
it`s the end of the smoothie as we know it...
Posted by: Diana | January 12, 2012 at 12:31 PM
made you look
Posted by: Marilyn Bryceland | January 12, 2012 at 04:50 PM
Junk in the Trunk
Posted by: Jonny | January 13, 2012 at 04:11 PM
You know you want to buy me
Posted by: Mary-Anne Barry | January 15, 2012 at 03:38 PM
Did someone just ask you what time it was?
Opens other end!
Bottle too small? Carton also available!
Straw goes in other end.
Thank you for shaking me.
Warning: this is not the top of bottle.
Posted by: Alan Meban | January 16, 2012 at 05:01 PM
This is a step further from the 'Note in a bottle'
Posted by: Freya Aitken-Scott | January 17, 2012 at 02:47 PM
when life throws you lemons
drink innocent smoothies
Posted by: Lisa | January 24, 2012 at 12:34 PM
Does my bum look big in this?
Posted by: chloe | January 26, 2012 at 01:55 PM
you look silly holding a drink upside down
Posted by: Bethan Mackie | January 29, 2012 at 09:21 AM
Why do you keep looking down here?
Posted by: Bethan Mackie | January 29, 2012 at 09:32 AM
You must look pretty stupid right now.
Posted by: Anna | March 15, 2012 at 02:05 PM