You may have heard, but we've just launched our brand new orange juice (and apple juice too). To celebrate, we've got 11 breakfast hampers to give away.
We squeeze 11 oranges into every carafe, so we've got 11 overflowing breakfast hampers to give away (we're simple like that). In each hamper you'll find: homemade muffins, crunchy granola, fresh fruit, marmalade (made by our very own Kat E), tasty bread, napkins, limited edition innocent juice glasses, wonderful tea from teapigs.co.uk, along with a thirst-quenchingly large amount of juice. There's plenty to share.
To be in with a chance of winning, just tell us your best orange or apple pun or joke. Our 11 favourites will each get a hamper delivered to their door. Here's a couple to help start the ball rolling:
- two oranges walk into a bar, one says "your round"
- you make me peel like a natural woman
- ooh-aah, juiced a little bit
To enter, click here
(entries only open for UK residents - sorry).
Competition closes at midnight Monday 14th February.
What is ginger and hairy?
An orange-utan!
What is ginger and even more hairy than an orange-utan?
Hugh Jackman!
What music do oranges like to listen to?
Pulp music!
And as Boy George sang:
"Do you really want to squash me? Do you really want to make me dry?"
Please can you orange for me to get one of those ap-peel-ing hampers, juice because my jokes were so apple-ing!
Posted by: Nousj | February 11, 2011 at 11:57 AM
One must always orange and apple breakfast.
Posted by: Olivia | February 11, 2011 at 12:30 PM
An apple asked an orange whether he looked better for being turned into an Innocent drink:
"Juicy any improvement?" he asked.
Posted by: Katy | February 11, 2011 at 12:44 PM
First apple: You look down in the dumps. What’s eating you? Second apple: Worms, I think.
Posted by: Simon | February 11, 2011 at 01:13 PM
* Knock, knock!
> Who's there?
* Banana
> "Banana" who?
* Knock, knock!
> Who's there?
* Banana
> "Banana" who?
* Knock, knock!
> Who's there?
* Orange
> "Orange" who?
* Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
Posted by: Zeinab Lenton | February 11, 2011 at 01:17 PM
How does an apple a day keep the doctor away? When you take careful aim.
Posted by: Nicole | February 11, 2011 at 04:30 PM
Q: How do you tell the difference between a walrus and an orange?
A: Put your arms around it and squeeze it. If you don't get orange juice, it's a walrus.
Posted by: Gemma Hardwick | February 11, 2011 at 05:01 PM
Q: What were the only creatures not to go into the Ark in pairs?
A: The Maggots, they went in an apple.
Posted by: Ruth | February 11, 2011 at 06:17 PM
I rang the Apple helpline
It was rubbish all I got was two pips
Posted by: Steve Lowndes | February 11, 2011 at 07:20 PM
Pip was wondering if his apple ipad and orange mobile counted towards his 5 a day
Posted by: Chloe Wright | February 11, 2011 at 07:29 PM
What kind of apple isn’t an apple? A pineapple.
Posted by: Gill | February 11, 2011 at 09:44 PM
To win this competition,
Three oranges might bring you glory,
Four apples might give you fame,
But you get nothing for a pear!
Posted by: Sally Tanner | February 11, 2011 at 09:59 PM
Miss Apple and Sir Orange, were both as pleased as punch.
Both had been selected as the best among their bunch.
To smoothy land they headed to meet their destiny.
Innocent had a job for them-now just what could that be?
Miss apple polished up her skin until it shone so bright.
Sir Orange topped his tan up with ultra violet light.
Both spruced up and ready - it was time to meet the press.
Apples pips were thumping - Orange was full of zest.
But no paparazzi waited there for the two top nominees.
The press didn’t want an interview - just a complete and utter squeeze!
Posted by: Elspeth Durrand | February 11, 2011 at 11:38 PM
I beg of you please give me the orange hamper or I fear I will go into orang-utan mode !
Posted by: Donna Connoley | February 12, 2011 at 02:38 PM
Two worms arrived at Noahs ark in an apple but Noah had none and turned them away - they were suppose to be in pears.
Posted by: Philip | February 12, 2011 at 07:22 PM
Q. howdya get rich growing apples?
A. increase your apple turnover
Posted by: ali mckenzie | February 12, 2011 at 07:35 PM
Is there a word that rhymes with orange? I cannot think of one!
Posted by: Steve Phillips | February 13, 2011 at 11:54 AM
What did the apple skin say to the apple?
Iv'e got you covered.
Posted by: Maryam | February 13, 2011 at 04:01 PM
Why did the orange stop rolling down the road?
It ran out of juice.
Posted by: Nancy Bradford | February 13, 2011 at 05:10 PM
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
Posted by: lisa alabaksh | February 13, 2011 at 07:43 PM
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot
Posted by: Peak | February 13, 2011 at 08:15 PM
I have gone for simplicity...
I have gone for Innocence ...
I have gone for the chuckle-o-meter ... :^)
I asked my 6 year old son for his favorite joke about an orange ...
This was his answer ........
What's orange .. and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
May we not have chortled in vain ... !
Posted by: Janey Huddart | February 13, 2011 at 09:56 PM
Q. There were 10 oranges sitting on a wall. 9 rolled off. What did the 1 that was left ask?
A. Jaffa?
(only works with an Aberdonian accent, when it sounds like 'did you all fall')
Posted by: Annie | February 14, 2011 at 07:27 AM
An orange and an apple were mashed to a pulp.
Don't look at me, mate - I'm Innocent.
Posted by: Anne Bostwick | February 14, 2011 at 10:53 AM
Why is Granny Smith so content - Because she's apple-y married.
Posted by: dragonfly63 | February 14, 2011 at 12:10 PM
Where do apples buy their toys - Bramleys
Posted by: mark stynes | February 14, 2011 at 12:57 PM
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs
Posted by: ROSE JANES | February 14, 2011 at 02:21 PM
Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Posted by: LISA | February 14, 2011 at 03:00 PM
what did the hippy apple say to the hippy orange "this is somoothe music"
Posted by: jack dean atkinso | February 14, 2011 at 03:06 PM
Q: Why did the Orange go out with a Prune?
A: Because he couldn’t find a Date!
Posted by: RICHARD | February 14, 2011 at 03:08 PM
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
Posted by: Sharo Hingley | February 14, 2011 at 03:16 PM
What did the little chick say when its mother laid an orange?
Look at the orange marma laid
Posted by: Dragon | February 14, 2011 at 04:54 PM
My daughter asked me for a drink - I'll orange that for you I said as soon as I get my orange phone to talk to my apple mac
Posted by: Dragon | February 14, 2011 at 05:01 PM
how to make an orange weep give it a hard squeezeeeeeeeeee.
Posted by: v armstrong - ronni 1 | February 14, 2011 at 05:02 PM
I'm tying to orange a meal for tonight thought of oranging apple crumble but don't want anyone to take the pip
Posted by: Dragon | February 14, 2011 at 05:04 PM
Q: Why did the orange go to the doctor?
A: Because it wasn't peeling well!
Posted by: Ian Campbell | February 14, 2011 at 05:10 PM
What did one apple say to another? "I'm just 'pipping out to the shops - toodlepip!"
Posted by: Maz | February 14, 2011 at 06:47 PM
I've got that loving 'peeling'!
Posted by: Maz | February 14, 2011 at 06:49 PM
Why was the chef in love with his Bramley? Because it was the apple of his pie.
Happy Valentine's, everyone!
Posted by: Sophie & Lee | February 14, 2011 at 07:25 PM
Why did the chef fall in love with his Bramley? Because it was the apple of his pie.
Happy Valentine's, everyone!
Posted by: Sophie & Lee | February 14, 2011 at 07:30 PM
Why did the apple get rushed to hospital?
Because he had a tart attack.
Posted by: Lee | February 14, 2011 at 07:31 PM
How do you make an Orange laugh? Tickle it's navel
Posted by: Pauline Rendell | February 14, 2011 at 08:13 PM
@Rachel: I know you google that as I googled some too but only found that one and word for word, It's the same!
Posted by: marie | February 14, 2011 at 10:57 PM
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple :P
The new Apple Macbook costs £1500 - that must be a joke!
Posted by: Tamsin Burton | February 15, 2011 at 11:30 AM
An orange and an apple are on a plate
The apple looks at the orange and says "HI"
then the banana says: BUT APPLES DONT TALK!!!
Posted by: Sam James | February 15, 2011 at 09:29 PM
I'm 'appley drinking a juice from the innocent-o-range
Posted by: Cathy Davies | February 17, 2011 at 04:42 PM
The ginger woman at my work recently announced that she is pregnant by her black boyfriend. She was discussing possible baby names the other day, apparently "Terry The Chocolate Orange" is not tolerated and is enough to get you fired.
Posted by: charlie chuckles | February 18, 2011 at 09:01 PM
It's not mine but it's great:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/clips/p00ctlvg/the_one_ronnie_clips_blackberry_sketch/
Posted by: Julie | February 20, 2011 at 11:30 PM
We squeeze 11 oranges into every carafe, so we've got 11 overflowing breakfast hampers to give away (we're simple like that). In each hamper you'll find: homemade muffins, crunchy granola, fresh fruit, marmalade (made by our very own Kat E), tasty bread, napkins, limited edition innocent juice glasses, wonderful tea from teapigs.co.uk, along with a thirst-quenchingly large amount of juice. There's plenty to share.
Posted by: Cheap Supra Thunder Hightop For Sale | March 18, 2011 at 08:08 AM
We squeeze 11 oranges into every carafe, so we've got 11 overflowing breakfast hampers to give away (we're simple like that). In each hamper you'll find: homemade muffins, crunchy granola, fresh fruit, marmalade (made by our very own Kat E), tasty bread, napkins, limited edition innocent juice glasses, wonderful tea from teapigs.co.uk, along with a thirst-quenchingly large amount of juice. There's plenty to share.
To be in with a chance of winning, just tell us your best orange or apple
Posted by: Cheap Supra Thunder Hightop For Sale | March 18, 2011 at 08:20 AM
CO CO CO....A.M. THE RAIN IS FAILING. HERE WE ARE AT THE CROSSROADS ONCE AGIAN.... HA HA HA HA ......
Posted by: Nike Shox | April 06, 2011 at 04:26 AM
Abstract:Young the inequality is an inporiant inequality
Posted by: Nike Air Max | April 07, 2011 at 09:13 AM
When it comes to votes, paper may be the wave of the future.
Posted by: Slimming softgel | February 18, 2012 at 05:23 PM