ed's cows

You might remember last year that Jim won the innocent scholarship (where you can apply for £1000 to do anything you want provided it's not illegal, cosmetic or dodgy) to recreate Michael Jackson's Thriller in the car park.

Well, the latest person to win the scholarship is Ed G.

He's not off to climb a mountain or bust some moves in tight red denim (mainly because he does the latter anyway).

Instead, he used his scholarship to help restart the suckler herd on his dad's farm.

Ed's family have been farming for five generations ever since his great great granddad, George, took on the farm.

Ed's parents still live on the farm and Ed's dad, Alan, still sleeps in the same room he was born in.
 

However, eight years ago, Ed's family had to sell the herd.

But now Ed and his dad are restarting it.

Last week, Ed went and bought a fine Hereford cow to add to the other eight cows they're bought for the new herd.

Here's the invoice to prove he didn't blow it all down the geegees

And here's the photographic proof to back up the invoice.

However, the Scholarship Cow and her friends have yet to be named.

So if you have a moment of bovine brilliance when it comes to cow's names and fancy winning yourself a crate of thickies, just post your name below and the best ones will get to christen a cow and win some yoghurty goodness.

As a headband wearing turtle once said, 'Cowabunga'.

(or in non hero-in-a-half-shell terms, good luck)

Comments

[Cat]

Thank you Ed and Innocent, just when I'd run out of procrastination methods and exam revision was going to have to get going again, i find this :) So, I'd like to suggest: 1. Ermintrude (because the magic roundabout rocks) 2. Boudica (because cows can be warrior queens too) 3. Mappa mundi (because she's a Hereford, and the cathedral there has one, plus its a pretty cool phrase). Right, back to work for me. Bleugh. xXx

[Thomas]

Argh! Cat's much better at this than me. Anyway, how about 'Honorificabilitudinitatibus' or Honor for short. What better name for a cow than Shakespeare's pre-emtive version of supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

[Brandy]

Name the cow Curdle!!!

[Dani]

How about Cowabella?

[Dani]

Or Mooeisha? Like Moeisha, which is actually a name, but with extra moo!

[Sophie]

My suggestion is that the new cow should be called Flora Poste, which is the name of the plucky and thoroughly sensible young heroine in Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons. (Not implying in any way that Ed's dad's farm is in any way cold comfort!) In the book Flora turns around the fortunes of the whole family so it might be a good luck name for re-starting the herd. And it's a better name for Ed's cow than the names of the cows in the book - Feckless, Graceless, Pointless and Aimless.

[KT]

Bob, then it can be 'Bob of the Week'!

Gladys, after the cow from Sesame Street!

Tiger, so if she gets rowdy during milking time you can say "Easy Tiger!" Lol!

Strawberry, then you'll have ready-made 'Strawberry milk'!

[robin atter]

what about Max and Power, yay great cow names, then you can shout Max Power, when you want them.

Max Power - the cows that do everything to the max,

[Jac Rob]

How about Smoovy ?

[Mihai]

"Smoothie operator"?

[Graham]

Noddy.

[Anita]

Mary with silver and cockleshell- from the nursery rhyme mary mary quite contrary............ and pretty maids all in a row!!

[Sarah]

* one ninth innocent, or one for short

* Malcolm

Both good names :-)

[Illy]

Moomin, a total classic of its time and soon to be again!

[Gill Coles]

I think a lovely name for her would be Buttonhole!

[Charlotte]

Schoomy or Schoomoo the cow, because, you know - what with the Scholarship and all :)

[Rowena]

Hattie, the Hereford cow.

Angel, or perhaps Immaculata, cos she's Innocent.

[Emma]

How about Kilm (milk backwards!)or dare I say it Kebab??? Maybe even Tofu if we're going on an edible theme :)

[Lucy]

What about Cookie Dough cuz thats what she looks like! Or Cookie for short.

[jemma]

simoon cow-el. Moovalous milk. Milkshake.

[Guy]

June? a very tenuous link to june carter, wife of johnny cash, and thus the cash cow. Ok, if link is udderly awful, give it the hoof, there must be butter ones out there.
Margerie? Curtlyn? Annabelle?

[Katie]

I think you should name it 'Conic Newton'

1) it sounds cool
2) it's 'Innocent Cow' with the letters rearranged!!

[Soleira Green]

Marvella cos' she's soooo marvellous!

[Chris]

How about Mooreen?

[Milly C]

Mooon Cheese

(if we really wanted to go with the 'moo' theme.. and incorporating a bit of dairy)

[Honey McKinley]

As cows have a kind of regal timelessness about them, suppose it's to do with having to eat their own sick, how about some posh names like Desdemona, Lucretia, Portia, Cleopatra (now she liked a bit of milk did Cleo), Demelza, Hortensia, Jezabel or Salome?

[Milly C]

Big Mac.

Moocha.

[Kelly E]

OXO..

I think it has a good ring to it.

[Jenny]

Jenner - who honoured the vaccination from "vacca", meaning "cow" in Latin. Perhaps Edward would sound nice too :)

[Beth]

Calfodelia! Took me about 3 seconds to think up but it's unique and sort of suits her

[Rach]

Esmerelda - it's striking but with lots of scope for shortening and nic-names!

[Andy]

Honour, Grace, or Virtue?

All full of Innocence!

(someone else had suggested Ermintrude which is best)

[Zhen]

Milkacino :)

What a looooverly name :)
I named my toy cow that, and she is wearing a huge smile of joy :)

[Katie Sobol]

How about something nice and simple like Mootilda?

[Alice]

What about Damage for a hardcore cow, or Skinny Mittens for a more retiring one, or Elle Woods for a legal cow wth excellent dress sense. If all else fails, there's always Fluffy - brilliant name and evokes images of gladiatoral fighting.

I also like Gill's suggestion of Buttonhole :)

[Sarah]

Moobelline ?!

[Kingtybo]

Nova - is a shining bright star, and very pretty name. quite fitting for the star of your new herd x

[Andrew]

Call her 'Wanda'! My reasons are twofold.

Firstly it is an homage to early 90's pop band the wonder stuff, who wrote this rather topical song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpmzS9mjz_I

Secondly, it was a great name for a fish.

[Ylva]

Moo-nalisa of course (because of her enigmatic smile).

[Angela]

buttercup along with daisy
1)are old traditional names for a cow.
2)they are also good things for a cow to be eating.
3)i expect that jim grandfather probably had one called those names as most farms did

[Pip]

Gracias...

Grateful to be a cow
Grateful to eat grass

and maybe with a bit of a grassy - ass...

[Susie]

Moomoozela

Come on girls Moo Moo for England !!! they need a bit of homespun support from the pasturelands.

[Sarah]

She should be called Hepsibah.
I grew up on a dairy farm in Somerset and each year's girl-calves were given a name beginning with the same letter of the alphabet (e.g. 1970's girls all had name beginning with A, 1971's - B, 1972's - C ... you get the picture!). Now the year we reached H was a tricky one because we ran out of familiar names and had to search a little harder. Well, Hepsibah was dredged up from somewhere and a lovely little fresian calf took the name. She grew up to be quite a character within the herd and I remember her fondly...

[Erica]

Honey

to go with her milk to be on the way to creating a delicious smoothie. yummmm

[Jess]

Alexandra. Simples!

[J Biddulph]

J-Lo

The explanation is from Schlock Mercenary:
http://www2.schlockmercenary.com/d/20031217.html

"The name Sergeant Schlock chose for his second booceros mount originates with a curious consipiracy of colloquialism, celebrity, and tabloid journalism in the early 21st century. While historians fail to concur on the exact social pressures involved, by 2010 the name "J-Lo" had supplanted "Bessie" as the most popular name for milk cows."

[Liz]

Fang - or pimple (what I like to call my 6 month old)

[David]

Wellington

(as in beef wellington - but Wellington also happens to be a village in Herefordshire so it's very appropriate!)

[Sutty]

Butterscotch, or one for the "moo" theme- Moonbeam :)

[Fliss]

please please please can she be called Buttercup? That's what cows are called aren't they? In the days when cows were cows and buttercups were buttercups and they didn't have ear tags and buttercups weren't wiped out with herbicides.

Just imagine

"Come on now Buttercup, me old beauty....."

Brings tears of nostalgia to my eyes just thinking about it.

[Fliss]

Grundy

cos it's like the other Ed whose Dad had to sell the herd
(If you're not an Archers addict, this reference may pass over you which you may think is the healthy option)

[Louise Shane]

'Shake' .. as in "it's time to milk shake".. Maybe not.. you wouldn't want to hear.. "(this is) Shake the cow!"
Or..
My in-laws have a new boxer puppy, also white with brown patches, just recently christened 'Bo Diddley' or 'Bo' for short - how about that??!!

[Ami]

Call one Heskey, they both eat grass all day!

[sue]

We had a cow we used to hand-milk called Daisy - my cousins used to make me eat grass when we were "pretending" to be cows - so "Daisy", as I'm sure she LOVES the yummy grass....

[Susannah]

Udderika

Gertrude

[Angela]

How about 'Veggie'?

Or 'Milkshake'?

It should be something relevant!

[Dominic North]

Belle. Definately Belle.

[Dominic North]

"Cfer" pronounced "see-fer"

as in C-fer-Cow.

In honour of a dog we once had called Dfer, alternatively our other dog was called "Wolfman Gorky", so feel free to use that one instead.

[Dominic North]

a) Maverick

b) Fresian or Fresia (irony always works)

c) Moorris (like Morris)

d) Happy

e) Belle

f) Captain Moo

g) Prettymaid (It looked good on the invoice)

h) Shaggy

i) Scooby Moo

j) Eric (our milkman is called Eric)

k) Pat

l) The Cow

m) The-Cow-With-No-Name

n) Buddha

o) Hugh

p) Hugh Heffer

q) Tim

r) Rosie

s) Goliath

t) Mooooooose

u) Spartaaaaa

v) Moo shu (technically for pork I guess...)

w) Porker

x) David Hasselhoof

y) Ed

z) Bacon

[Jenny]

Call one Steak, and another Chips, then you can call for steak and chips.. yum
or Spot..
or Corrie the Cow...
or Pie, for Cow pie

[Di]

Cowsheds? Well the cow's Ed's!

Collar Ship?

Cowslip (It's nearly Scholarship Cow!)

Bourse - which is French for scholarship

Beca - which is scholarship in Spanish

Di

[Lorrie Bronsema]

How about 'Hathor' after the Egyptian cow goddess who was also credited for responsibility for dance, music and fertility?

[toni]

Shes a cow, cows are bovine. Hows about Beau. Or possibly Vinnie. I'm just throwing those out there...

[Aiden]

i dont know why, but the cow looks like the name 'piecrust' would suit it rather well !

[RobNonsense]

The cow should be called Dmitri.

That way, if it turns out to be a Russian spy, Ed and his Daddy can pretend that they knew all along and weren't fooled by cow's Bovine charms.

This will prove important for their reputation in the village, and indeed their own self-esteem.

I shudder to think how the ladies in the local tea room would look at Ed's Dad if they thought he was mugged-off by a moocow.

[brightsprite]

Centinno
(Inno cent, reversed)

[Charlie]

does anyone else think cowabunga is a good name or is it just me!

[chanel j12 watches]

Americans will have to have a civil war or revolution based on poverty like in France or Russia before such an extreme system as has developed becomes tabu (like a strong currency is aboslutely necessary in Germany due to perceptiopn of inflation bringing down Weimar Republic for example).