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May 10, 2010

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What did the pirate say when he got his wooden leg stuck in the freezer?

Shiver me timbers

why are pirates so mean?
because they Aaaarrr!

Why does a pirate go on holiday? ... To get some Arrr and Arrr...

Some rude ones below:

Q: What do pirates and pimps have in common?
A: They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp!

Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A: A sunken chest with no booty!

And now some normal:

Q: How do pirates know that they are pirates?
A: They think, therefore they ARRRR!!!!!

Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they can spend years at C!

A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.

The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"

"Arrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"

3.14% of Sailors are Pi Rates.

Where do pirates keep their jam?
In a jaaaarrrgh!!

And my favourite almost-piratey joke:

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels :)

Pirate A: Where are your buccaneers?!

Pirate B: On my buccanhead!

(I like this because it sounds like swearing.)

Q. What did the pirate call his son?

A. Arrrrthur!

Q. What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?

A. Shiver me timbers!

Q: What did the pirate say to man who insulted him?
A: I know you ARR, but what am AYE?!!!!

Q: Why couldn't the pirates play cards?
A: The captain was standing on the deck!

What do you call an small, green vegetable who's really angry?

P-Irate

(original material!)

Long ago,down in the south west a girl called Penelope was concocting various tarts, pies, flans etc for sale at a local seafarers' convention. She had trouble deciding on the prices though and so consulted her esteemed Aunties. They decided that flans were £2, tarts £2.50 (!)and pies £3. Of course that was the origin of the famous G & S operetta - The Pie Rates of Pen's Aunts.

(Well they do say the old ones are the best).

what do you call a strong pirate who tells jokes all the time?

iron piriteze

ha ha

(well I found it funny)

I've hidden the "pierced ears" joke in a limmerick - trying to be original!!!

there once was a pirate named Dave
who wanted to party and rave
"peirced ears I do fear
will cost a buccaneer"
so I'll drink less rum while I save

get it?? Buck an ear!!! ha ha

sad I know - but I'm an accountant!!!

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