Sometimes pictures really do tell a better story than words ever could. This is one such occasion. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, please put your hands together and shield your eyes as we present you with the horror and utter stupidity of the innocent Sports Day 2009.
Tom leapt like a pixie in the kiwi and spoon race (we don't keep many eggs in fruit towers).
The scoring was professional.
Wheelbarrow technique faultless.
Andy regretted wearing an all in one Jamaican bobsleigh team suit.
Everybody struggled with 'wibbly wobbly' (note Jeremy's angled running style).
Emma won best dressed.
And the shortest shorts competition was fearsome. And frightening. Fearsomely frightening.
(Overall winner was Sally - shielded here by Mark owing to the sheer indecency of her shorts)
World Athletics Championships shmanpionships.
If it's true sporting prowess you're after, forget Berlin, it's all about Ravenscourt Park on a Thursday afternoon.