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February 09, 2009

Comments

One for the rural community.

SPOT - send picture of tractor

WLTM the slightly camp guy in the deli who winks at me on Tuesdays. If you're on my side of the fence, let's have an innocent picnic.

WLTM a banana fruitcake to complement an utter custard cream must be a fun friendly and well-blended individual with a passion for adventure. Being a nature lover is a must, I love long walks in the country and getting dirty under my nails in the garden! Equally I like a little bit of glamour, just to mix things up. Are you fruity and smooth? Do you suit an occasion? OHAT not essential, we’ll have a slurpingly good time! Contact Box 140214

The pics are hilarious!

Hello! Are you normal? When I say 'normal' I mean, you know, 'normal'? Of course it would be nice if you have a sense of humour, some friends, a job, a car, maybe a house, aspirations, dreams, ambition etc etc. I'd like to get married and pop out a baby before I'm 80, so if you're interested, please reply to my Box. 36.

Slightly sleepy blonde female WLTM similar for naps, knitting and reading mangas. Polyamorous and pagan (or open-minded) nature preferred, as well as willingness to wear handmade woollen garments. Contact Box Lined-with-cushions, it's comfier.

WLTM Hugh Jackman. No, seriously. Call me.

Young, attractive, professional guy, who trusts too easily but has managed to wash off the last guy’s footprints. WLTM someone sincere, honest and worthy of me making time for them. Varied interests; cultured and keep fit. Looking for someone to share a laugh, a conversation, a drink, a good meal; potential for more – sorry girls, I like meat and two veg pots.

Smooth. Cool. Fruity. Mixed up. Sweet stuff: Whatever your ingredients let's give it a whirl. Or a whizz.
Female, Green eyes, Brunette, 5'8. WLTM Male for sharing 5-a-day, happy to start with one date. You already have the bottle (in your hands), how about we step off the shelf together?

Washing machine for sale. Good working order. £50 o.n.o If interested call 07708397542

really funny but take time to have a look on this website www.valentinesucks.com

so good...

WLTM a female fruit in her birthday suit. Straight from the crate - not from concentrate. Whether pear or lemon, cherry or melon, all are considered - except the withered. Good skin is essential to get preferential. Any age, any type (assuming you're ripe!) From England to Ghana, I'll be your banana. Whatever the weather, we'll crush-up together. If this sounds like you, you know what to do.....

I'm one of the fruit squashers. If you find my glass slipper in your bottle, please return it to me. Box 16.

WLTM the fella who came to the fancy dress party as Spiderman. I was the lass behind the bar wearing the princess crown. Was kinda scared of you with the mask on but the bar staff were fighting over you when it came off. Don’t think you noticed me ignoring the other customers to serve you, but I did… Feel free to swing down and rescue the bored princess at anytime.

Ugly fruit seeks open-minded soul-mate to shake things up. I’m not the pick of the bunch. My skin’s funny, I’m a little bit hairy and I go to pieces under pressure. But show me some love and I’ll open up for you. We can share juicy bits and when we’re through you can even bash my plastic. I know you won’t judge me on my appearance or the silly things I say. After all, everyone knows, it’s what’s inside that counts. I’ll be good for you, you’ll see.

WLTM a talking snail, OGRE* preferred. If you're not a talking snail but you like snails (& not on your plate!) then you'll do!
You must also like watching scary movies, dancing to cheesy music, wearing hats and sharing your smoothies, although not all at the same time. *Of Great Random Excitment.

Silly fun sweet chickadee seeks nerdy boyo to entertain.
I do love a Thai Curry Vegpot, but I'm open minded and happy to share your tuscan bean stew.
No Salad Dodgers!
Call my PO box today and tomorrow we could be watching box sets instead.

Repressed creative type seeks absolute nightmare of a guy to really screw up my life before I hit 30, commitment problems a plus but not essential.

Ability to laugh at self as much as me probably a must.

Must have a penchant for shortish, squeaky, Northern girl. Also be willing to accept they will never beat me at any sport/board game/argument. Ever.

Cavelier attitude to sexual health and a leaning towards misogyny considered a bonus.

May also need to be a heavy drinker.


Lonely smoothie seeks someone who can provide cool storage place for upto 5 days from date of purchase.

WLTM tall, dark, handsome guy who loves fruit... Just to eat and drink, not in a weird way... should specify slightly sane. Just want some fruity fun, i believe in 5-a-day.

Petite redhead (24) seeks man (25-40ish) of some sort of emotional intelligence, OHAT a must, GSOH preferable, disinclined to put up with comparisons to ex wives, or suicidal threats. Must like cats.

WLTM tall spiky haired ginger dude, feeling a little blue and lonely. Although as your drinking the pineapple, blueberries and ginger smoothie you must have the same taste as me, so reply to my box 48625.

I am a perfectionist, creative and very demanding, also tasty & fruity ;)
Looking for man who is creative, funny, with all their own body parts & accessories & of course loaded! so the usual, car house etc. By the way, I love summer holidays & everything natural!

Would like to meet the tall guy in Tescos who reached the smoothies down for me.A match made in heaven, you,re tall enough to reach them wherever they put them, and i,m always available to drink them. If you are interested meet me this Monday by the Innocent Smoothies for a really fruity partnership. SWALK

boy who overthinks most things WLTM sim girl who can get 100% of her recommended daily allowance from thai food, smoothies, chocolate cake, PS3, dexter, indie pop, veg pots and criminal minds. My DVD collection awaits your knowing comments.

Oh Mr Right, I’ve been searching high and low
Speed, blind and the net – I’ve given them all a go.
You’re clever and handsome, above all you’re funny,
I’m tall and caring, never harmed a bunny.
We’ll travel, explore, have laughs and roar merry
Your banana will be perfect with my strawberry!
How this bottle could change your life
A delicious drink, and maybe a wife!

Claustrophobic lady genie, 25 with GSOH, seeks Aladdin or similar to rub her the right way.

Petite, fresh and smooth WLTM man-to-go with my passionfruit. Pick me, carry me home with you and chill...

20 something (takes off shoes, borrows dogs paw) erm, 3 year old single man WLTM a lady with low expectations for a pleasant surprise. Can travel. Cats need not apply.

lonely lentil-loving londoner WLTM exotic italian with floppy hair, enormous smile and a passion for cannellini beans.

Looking for someone to romantically high-five with in the city can be tempestuous and tiring - so what better way to end the search than meeting up for a fruit smoothie with a fun, free, fabulous me? Credentials: eyes - preferably green. chest - ideally hairy. life moto - 'full of beans'.

fingers, toes and eyes crossed that I'll be getting in a (Tuscan) stew over you this valentine's day...

Stick-on moustache/inflatable parrot/jangling earing wearing F (YARRRRRRRR!!!) WLTM geeky lover of Battlestar Galactica and Jaffa Cakes. Must like dressing up as a ninja and committing random acts of kindness.

slightly prickly but deliciously sweet on the inside gentleman WLTM soft and curvy yellow lady so we can share some banana splits (no mealybugs wanted)

As no one has done it yet:
WLTM Dr Shilps <3 <3 <3

WLTM a cure. The anti-depressants no longer work so I need a bit of the old fashioned to brighten up the dark days.
I've been told I look like a pixie and take that as a compliment.

(I vote for lonely banana - can I have him?!)

Lonely Florida Orange seeks fresh South-East-Asian Mango to have a seedy affair full of passion(fruit). Must enjoy an occasional spin in the blender – it’s a fusion like no other. Also must enjoy holidays – preferably to Fruit Towers (the height of culture and cool). I’ll be sat on your nearest supermarket shelf, waiting for us to shake it up together.

WLTM adventurous boat owner. Disbelief in Narwhals and Mount Rushmore essential. Ability to pack light preferred.

Sweet Potato WLTM her Root (Vegetable) of Love. Must have read all Harry Potter books. Vegetarian preferred but not essential.

Butchers need not apply.

WLTM Aussie girl for greencard and maybe more. In return, one charming northerner.


WLTM Nicole from the Renault Clio ads c1992 and re-enact said ads, only with me taking Papa's place and us not being related. Feel this is a reasonable request.

WLTM that man i saw yesterday walking along that road, he was wearing clothes, appeared to have GSOH couldn't tell properly he was wearing a ballaclava running from that bank with the security guards chasing him, looked like he had cash to spare. R.S.V.P ASAP to the box with bars.

WLTM Good Looking Smoothie up for Picnics and De-stress sessions. Must be Sweet and Innocent.Needs to have Plenty of Bottle and be in Good shape. Preferably Delivered. Will Come meet if Needed.
Must be cool and refreshing with plenty of Passion(fruit).
R.S.V.P My Fridge.

Ode to Innocent

Single on Valentines day
Oh I feel so glum!
But when I Sip my Smoothie
All I think is YUM!

Some are red and
Some are blue
Sweet and fruity
Innocent Too

Tangy sweet and Fruity
Wicked Awesome , Groovy
Its St. Val’s day and I’m alone
But I’ve got an Innocent Smoothie!

WLTM one highly tolerant individual. Able to withstand compulsive, outspoken & stubborn individual and find neurotic tendencies endearing. Also willing to accommodate characteristics of absolute control freak. References not necessary, but appreciated.
Reply; Burlington, Canada.

PS> Don't be scared--I can cook really well! ;)

Strawberries are red,
bananas are yellow.
WLTM a big juicy fellow.

are you a mid 20s single female? If so try this serving suggestion: buy smoothie, reply to this ad and a tall, dark handsome stranger will be sent to you. remove his clothes, pour smoothie on him and consume.

Dorset apple WLTM complimentary flavour for squeezing up with on a cold night. Must be willing to try coaxing this innocent country fruit into nutty and adventurous new situations.

Are you ginger? Curly? Were you the one who told me smoothies are great between sports because they give you energy without the heavy feel in the stomach? If yes, chances are you are my current boyfriend. You're awesome! (True Story)

Alluring goddess WLTM fawning sycophant for ego/foot rubs. Self-respect not essential. Wordsmith preferred, as composing elegies to my beauty will be fundamental part of the role. GSOH required to appreciate my jokes, but won’t stretch to making your own. DO NOT UPSTAGE ME! You will be willing to fetch Innocent smoothies for the good of my complexion (but will assure me that my skin is already radiant). You will own a monkey. The monkey is non-negotiable.

Ageing, fortysomething brunette(with grey flecks), seeking romance and WLTM the man I married 20 years ago(DONT FORGET 01/07!) - when we were INNOCENT and FRUITY!!

Was a romantic SMOOTHIE, had gsoh, must have liked children(as we had 3), used to be tall/dark(had hair then)/handsome(pre bags and wrinkles), was energetic and sporty(always stayed awake after 9.30)!

I know he's still out there - and must find soon for anniversary celebration!

Will you be my darling garbanzo bean?

British-American girl living across the pond WLTM fellow across-the-pond-er (guy or girl). Must love very long bike rides, hillwalking in the rain, and watching endless episodes of Doctor Who. Vegan baking skills and a love of garbanzo beans a plus!

Hiya id like to meet a flying monkey... i like cheese and niknaks. im goonaa take over the world with goats and sheepzz

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAA

Princess not in need of rescuing looking for a man with dignity, self respect, opinions and imagination to never, ever watch TV with. Must have aspirations beyond seeing their football team promoted and watching as much TV as possible, no matter how dull, before they die.

WLTKiss the man with the perfectly oval head. The man with a head shaped like a melon. A beautiful melon. Or even a grapefruit. A grapefruit so cute I would cry if I looked at it all the time. WLT be able to say more interesting things to you than 'oooh marmalade' and 'I've got legs'. This smoothie is a drink for my parched heart. Second best to you.

WLTKiss the man with the perfectly oval head. The man with a head shaped like a melon. A beautiful melon. Or a grapefruit. A grapefruit so cute I would cry if I looked at it all the time. WLT be able to say more interesting things to you than 'oooh marmalade' or 'I've got legs'. This smoothie is a drink for my parched heart. Second best to you.

WLTM nice, sane, single man, preferably with own teeth. And eyes. And hair. GSOH is vital especially for this SWF if you don't own any of the above. Fast cars and loafers sort of gents needn’t apply, mainly because I can’t drive and I don’t really like loafers. The ability to adapt to random situations would be handy, as this northern lass finds herself in predicaments which have involved revolving loo doors and scary clowns. I’m no Nigella Lawson or Elle MacPherson but there’s definitely no one else like me.

Ice Ice, baby!!

Tall, pale, magical lady, sometimes described as frosty, but actually quite passionate. Loves winter sports. not so keen on children.

WLTM short, hairy, subservient Male to share interests. Has to be good with horses.

Hatred of lions a must.

Pretty, witty Nell (37) seeks handsome prince long term who is not a right Charlie to share her oranges and make the perfect pear, squeeze her and please her and maybe even give her five a day. No rotters or pipsqueaks please.

I, Kerfuffle the pup, WLTM: young dashing male canine who enjoys frolicking. Also must have a GSOMischief and enjoy nibbling table legs, plastic bottles and human toes…

WOOF!

…seeking intelligent dog who can read yummy smoothie bottles.

Marvellously handsome, super cool guy called Muddle who doesn’t believe in rules WLTM that special person looking for someone to share their lunch with. Loves walks in the countryside but keen to learn to sit on sofa and watch TV with you. Well known salad dodger who doesn’t believe in 5 a day. Will eat anything and if you leave your vegpot lying around will try that too! See his slide show at www.manytears.co.uk and if you would like to meet call his secretary to make an appointment.

Young, Superficial, Blonde WLTM Rich Balding Male.
Must Own His Own Estate and Suffer From an Advanced Caugh or Other Severe Health Problems.
Must be Willing to Marry Immediately (I Already Own a Dress).
I Will Nurse You Through Your Last FEW Days/Weeks.
I Promise to Live in Uncompromising Luxury After You Have Passed and Your Children/Family Will not be Deserted. They Will be Given Priority to Work as My Personal Servants in my New Palacial Home.
Get in Touch... Before You Kick the Bucket x x x

WLTM you. As long as you promise to wear matching socks, clean your teeth twice a day and believe in fairies. Actually, the fairies aren’t essential. But the socks definitely are. Must be tolerant of giggling, knitting and giraffes. Hairy chests preferable, but hairy backs need not apply. If this sounds like you, please contact Box 7. If not, well, enjoy your drink.

Your friends say your gorgeous and cute, your been nicely aged and are now in the mid twenties to mid thirties. You like ginger in your smoothies and your personalities the same, your healthy and good but with a spicy kick. You occasionally need to recover from that crazy night before. You sometimes laugh at my jokes, or at least humour the ones that aren’t too bad. Oh and just like any good fruit you shouldn’t be going off anytime soon! So where have you gone?

WLTM fellow hypocritical-health-fiend, who enjoys a good purple detox smoothie, as well as a tasty calorie-packed kebab. Must be fruity in ALL walks of life - vegetative, preferably not. Tastes and sense of humour, eclectic – will happily accommodate. Must be tall like a string bean, and have eyes as green as my favourite Florette cabbage leaves. Reply via Snail Mail will be considered endearing. XO

WLTM fellow hypocritical-health-fiend, who enjoys a good purple detox smoothie, as well as a tasty calorie-packed kebab. Must be fruity in ALL walks of life - vegetative, preferably not. Tastes and sense of humour, eclectic – will happily accommodate. Must be tall like a string bean, and have eyes as green as my favourite Florette cabbage leaves. Reply via Snail Mail will be considered endearing. XO

Fruity female with cherry lips WLTM
Fruity hunk who can guarantee to help me on my way
Of getting my five a day
Preferably should have:
Red strawberry lips
Wide banana smile
Sultry sultana eyes
A watermelon kiss
Filled with the sweetness of seedless grapes
Must be thirst quenching, hunger satisfying and delicious!

Lynne Peachey? Give that girl her own magazine column quick!

Excellent post. It makes me realize the energy of words and pictures. I learn a lot, thank you! Wish you make a further progress in the future.

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