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« ground control to major tom | Main | when the wheels come off »

September 22, 2008


The Spinning Jenny.

So that I could have named it the Spinning Vivian and connected it to a giant treadwheel filled with badgers.

If its for current inventions I wish I invented the iPod your music collection in your pocket is a fantastic idea.

If its for an invention that has not yet been invented. It would be a solar powered car that would charge up during the day even if it was cloudy or could be plugged into the mains for a boost. It would also be run by a computer which means there would be no accidents on the road. Would be very useful during rush hour!

Hmmmm, a very good question!

I think it would have to be the paperclip! Seriously simple, used by everyone, and does a great job!


Things that vibrate – like my alarm clock... without it, I'd be late for work every day

Sliced bread. Every great invention is compared to it.

The mobile phone - I have no idea now how society functioned without them. Sad, I know...

Got to be the computer chip...everything use's them now

The Bicycle - the ultimate green machine

the hoover

The avocado peeler and slicer. It's the BEST.

The flux capacitor

Sewing machine, I'm just learning to use mine and I fricken' love it. Hand sewing a skirt=hours of work. Machine sew a skirt=an hour! I'd be proud to put my name on a sewing machine.

Innocent smoothies of course! But if I had to pick something else it would be the lightbulb, so much better than a candle, you can use it even with the window open.

it would have to be google as it is so popular it has now become a default name for searching the net

The zip or velcro... without it i would be falling out at the seams!

The electric leg-hair-plucker. I'd have included a cheerful booklet so whenever other women used one they'd feel part of a great, happy fellowship of gorilla-legged babes.

the spork. They're genius, and they have a nice name

i wish i'd invented clear tarmac so we could all see what was going on underground--and it would be easier to spot and fix leaks in water pipes. what? they haven't invented that yet?

A I hope that secures me in winning the cool USB batteries! :-D

Electricity, although it's not really a "thing" so probably doesn't count, plus it's not really in the spirit of this competition. So I'll go for writing, which isn't actually a thing either but without it the world would be duller and less informed.

breathing - well done man (and woman) maker

The treadmill but in the style of the OK Go video so they would have been fun from the very beginning.

Printing ( I'm with Stephen Fry in being unable to imagine a world without books.)

the wind-up radio

I wish that I'd invented the diesel engine and then had the strength of character to refuse to adapt it so that it could be used by petroleum based fuels

The wind or wave turbine seriously. On a fun note peanut butter and marmite on toast - would never have tried it without a friend's coaxing and its YUMMY.

The internet - imagine being able to say that
"I invented the internet, I did"
how cool would that be and how many parties would you get invited to?

The stapler as every office and a lot of home offices, have one!

The mobile phone

The Wheel?!

Firstly because it's ace. Secondly if i'd have done it it would have been that good first time round then people wouldn't have to keep on say 'i've reinvented the wheel' :)


The post-it note - Everyone always wishes they had invented that one!

Bubble wrap.

So functional, and gives everyone so many hours of entertainment.

The little plastic things on the end of your shoelaces. Every pair of shoelaces have 2. I'd be a millionaire by now Rodney!

Some of the anti-cancer drugs... I wouldn't over price them the way current patent holders do.

I wish I'd invented the TV and then I could have put in a system that wouldn't allow any reality TV programmes to be shown.

The toaster. I LOVE toast. Sure it tastes better toasted over a fire, but who's going to light a fire in their kitchen of a morning before they go to work?!

I wish i'd invented the veggie box deliveries theres nothing like the organic veggies to get the children to eat healthly.

Aha, I wish I had invented the wheel, I'd be a very rich woman by now... alas, I didn't, and I'm not.

I wish I'd invented the internet!! oooooh or maybe the spork! Ye on second thoughts gotta be the spork. hehe

I wish I'd invented the online auction software - what a fantastic business ebay is - you simply make money from other people selling & buying stuff - the classic middleman but in case without the hassle of touching the product, without having to carry any stock, and with little trouble getting buyers & sellers to talk to each other. Genius of an idea.

The cat flap. It's such a simple invention kind of like discovering gravity it's so obvious that it takes a genius (or a complete madman) to actually realise the need for it. And of course every cat owner needs one!

The Teapot

tampax - what woman can live without?!

Waterproof material - so much better than umbrellas really.

The Gutenberg printing press.


It is happiness in a slice and how on earth did they invent that?

Bloomin genius

The social networking site

The mango splitter ...


Trees. Trees are ace.

The USBCELL, then I wouldn't haveto enter a competition to win one

The pcb (circuit board) Everything seems to have one and it seems to be the problem if anything breaks down and costs the earth to replace (like on my washing machine!)

Wii Fit

Edible Underwear - If they could also be one of your 5 a day. I think it would be the worlds greates invention

The ability to record sound.......wonderful, how its spawned so many musical appliances!

What about tea bags? Think how many of those are used everyday, and all the tea-drinking, biscuit-eating, chatting-on-a-break loveliness that everyone gets to enjoy every day!

The Thing i wish i had really invented has to be....The Umbrella Thats a great invention that we all need at some point in our lives.

I wish I'd invented chocolate coz everyone would love me!

that is awsome.

it would have to be the cup. without that, drinking would be awfully tricky

The internet - I can't imagine life without it now!

I wish I had invented veg pots.

No, seriously - I was pondering the same thing the last few months, and I was gutted when I read the innocent news. Especially when I didn't win the prize draw!


I wish I'd invented cheese, just so I could find out how on earth anyone realised mouldy milk = nice snack on toast.

The Reliant Robin - that's one cool car

Clothes... brrr!

must be the post-it note for me. simple .

i would have liked to have invented electricity.

all sorts of bright sparks there

I wish I'd invented 'the smile' - I'm certainly a great ambassador!

Did you know that 'a smile is a curve which often straightens things out?'

Try to say 'smile' without smiling!!

Smiles are the only infection that make you better!

Must be the spoon rest. You never knew you needed one until you have one.

I wish I'd invented velcro.

I wish I'd invented the sat nav, it's revolutionised driving!

Hungry Hungry Hippos

The Wheel.

whoever thought of moving themselves on a rolling circle was a genius.

The wheel. After all no one has tried to reinvent it have they?

Surprised no-one's mentioned it already, but I'll have to say 'the Wheel'
Its the one invention that really got things rolling..
(ah, sorry ;)

The universe! That would make me ruler of the universe, bwuh ha ha haaah!

Chocolate (does that count as an invention? Well I guess someone had to work out how to pick the cocoa, add the milk etc..?)

I'd love Innocent to consider chocolate based smoothies please (chocolate banana? Chocolate orange? mmmmm)

I wish I had invented the biro!

Oh My God!
Dan! Great minds think alike! and at the same time too.. WOW!
That's just too freaky..

I wish I'd invented a laser printer for my mind's eye. It'd be easier than trying to explain some of the things in my head.

Perhaps it's for the best there isn't one!

The towel. Dry yourself, hold hot and cold stuff, cover yourself, and best of all parade around on Towel Day.

The camera - it's helps bring the world into your home via newspapers and I know that I'll be looking backl at pictures of my 9 month old son for years to come

The eco stapler! It binds pages together without using staples... could save tonnes of steel a year if offices all used it!
Much nicer than pulling out hundreds of staples from pages whenever you want to put booklets in the recycling bin!


Mouldy bread spores = Countless millions of saved lives..

Not strictly an 'invention' but a colossal find nevertheless.

I wish I'd invented the horse. It caused a revolution in early transportation and remains a means of transport and power in many countries today. Also without it we couldn't brag about the horsepower of flashy cars. It runs on grass which is a green fuel. Green fuel - geddit? Oh suit yourselves.

The laptop. I'd have made them a lot easier to manage from the beginning though, smaller, lighter and much nicer to look. Wireless technology would have been great from the beginning too!

So many things we couldn't imagine life without - knives, glass, musical instruments, pencils - I'll go for the safety pin, a lifesaver (well, facesaver) in so many emergencies. Brilliant, and aesthetically rather pleasing too.

Cold Fusion

Fire or the wheel. I would so have been the toast of the cave-dwellers.

Why, the USBCELL batteries of course! Absolute genius invention - literally award winning.

Otherwise I'd have invented Godwin's Law for reductio ad Hitlerum arguments on the internet. I would have used the resultant attention to create more and more rules until eventually everyone was thoroughly confused and I could seize control of the internets in a glorious uprising and declare myself ruler of the web.

I would have a crown and everything and be a loved and benevolent dictator and it would be awesome.

(After that I would create the Spinning Vivian as below.)

The rubber band.

Who can honestly say they have never picked up a rubber band to help them kill a little bit of boredom? To help them bundle together that newspaper or stack of envelopes. To provide security and safety and keep things together. Take your hair out of your eyes.

Yes the rubber band is one of our most misunderstood little awesome inventions that makes life so much easier, especially for poor Jim who works in the sorting room.

The rubber band! An invention that changed the world as we know it and has clearly saved lives by keeping hair out of peoples eyes!!

I wish I invented it. *sigh*

The Internet.....the only resource I trust and control, lets me stand a fighting chance of finding out what's going on in the world.

2nd choice....Cadburys Giant Buttons

Post-it notes..... genius!!

the post it.everyone uses them and life in the office would be hell without them.STUFF LEGENDS MADE

The World wide Web - making it possible to win soopa doopa things at a click- suits me!

the cup of tea!
only i wouldnt have spread the idea of putting sugar in it....

The dishwasher - the saviour of many relationships and preventer of family feuds! Diplomat and cleaner in one!

The internet.

Invented by a victorian blokey... you pedal naked on a bike type seat which, in turn, powers the shower above your head. useless, but hilarious.

The wheel. But that would make me seriously wrinkly by now, I reckon.

The Flatshare fridge its awesome!!

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