nice bottom

We had loads of entries to the bottom of our bottle competition.

So many in fact that it took us a while to read through them all.

We were only going to choose 3 winners but the entries were of such a high standard that we ended up choosing 7. In other words, you did all the work, while we drank tea and laughed at your bum jokes. 

Here are the winning captions along with the geniuses behind them. Thanks to everyone who entered. May you all be blessed with perfectly formed bottoms from this day forth.

If you listen real hard, you can hear the sea

This is Yvonne. Yvonne is currently doing her PhD at Oxford and this is not her first brush with literary fame; she's had some poetry published already. Yvonne is a big fan of cheesecake, especially the chocolate marbled yoghurt variety (not as yet available on wooden sticks).

Rub bottle to free genie

Thanks to Amy for sending in this caption. Amy's favourite place to go on holiday is San Francisco. She's just had her birthday (it was an important one) is studying psychology and child development and has a large collection of stripy socks.

Suddenly everything is clear

John is scared of waxworks but not spiders. His best job was being paid to put garters on pretty ladies and he once slept through a small earthquake.

Trapped in bottle factory - send help

We liked Iain's caption a lot. Iain works in IT and prefers staying up really late to watch American ice hockey over going for a quick jog round the park or any other form of exercise.

The end is nigh

Skateboards, rollmop herrings and moths all feature on Peter's top ten list of good stuff. By day he is a Head Gardener, by night he is the proud owner of a very nice pair of Lancashire clogs. He even sent us a picture of them to show just how great they are:

In case of emergency, breakdance

 

Richard's advice to the world is never let your mum cut your hair. If you invited Richard round for afternoon tea, he'd like a fondant fancy on a doily please and in return, would tell you all about New York and modern art.

All the cool kids drink from this end

Cameron is rather camera shy but tells us that he likes smoothies, free stuff and facial scrubs. Which is a pretty good list of things to like.

Look out for these new bottoms, coming to a bottle near you very, very soon.

Comments

[Ian & Heather]

"Trapped in bottle factory - send help"

That's way the best bottom tag. Had us laughing our pants off. Good one Iain.

[Anthony]

Great work - I love these.

[Fran]

Uhm, you can get the t-shirt to go with one of them:
http://www.threadless.com/product/488/In_Case_of_Emergency_BREAK_DANCE

[Andy]

http://www.threadless.com/product/488/In_Case_of_Emergency_BREAK_DANCE

Hmm, deja vu!!

[Tinkerbell]

John is the cutest boy in the whole world. I have proof.

[Vee Soar]

Loved the "rub bottle..."

May I request that the first one reads " if you listen really hard... (not real hard) can't have Innocent using bad grammar or you will have your gra'mmar after you. tee hee

[clairol]

You can also buy in case of emergency breakdance samplers here -

http://shop.misofunky.com/products/in-case-of-emergency-breakdance-sampler

More deja vu!

[Andrew D]

Thanks for letting us know.

We hadn't realised this was already out there in tshirt format.

I've emailed threadless to let them know and will make sure we send them some smoothies with this bottom as a tribute to their excellent tees.

Ceri (on Andrew D's computer)

[Richard]

for the record - i hadn't realised either :(

hope this doesn't get you into any copywright/courtroom drama kinda situations

sorry :(

Richard (the one with the giant peg)

[Russell]

"Trapped in bottle factory - send help."

ABSOLUTE GENIUS. Hats off to that man.

[rebecca]

These are all fab, though I think "In case of emergency, breakdance" is probably my favourite :)

[Resident noggie]

Trapped in bottle factory - that's hilarious! :-) Oh, and when are we going to see Innocent Smoothies in Norway? I realise there are more people in Sweden and Denmark, but we feel kinda left out :-(

[Elana Fligg]

I didn't know that there were comments on the bases of the bottles - standing on my head from now on!

[kim]

I thought that the great phrase "Does my bum look big in this" would be on here.

[Paul McD]

I had been thinking "Warning - Do not turn this bottle upside down" would have been a good one.

[Don]

Can I please echo the sentiment of Vee Soar? It's quite upsetting to see that such poor grammar ("if you listen real hard..") will be appearing on the world's best drinks! Love the other quotes though!

[Ella]

Looking at the bottom of Innocent bottles has become an addiction. I get strange looks when I stand in supermarkets looking at them all!

[Fliss]

Absolutely another plea for it to be "really" not real. Innocent humour is so quintessentially English and your drinks such utterly high quality, one could expect no less of you.
Thought the "rub the bottle to free genie" had a slightly wistful quality.

[anya]

i like 'all the cool kids drink from this end'! It's childish!

[Dorothy]

I love your sense of humour and all your letters. I look forward to seeing your product in th USA someday. Thanks for all the good fun.

[Charlotte x]

i wanted 2 enter this competition but i came 2 late ): My favourite one is Trapped in a bottle factory - send help. It would be really funny if someone accually believed it and called the police though!

[Paul]

These are great, and I've really enjoyed reading them in the past! I'm making the assumption that the person who suggested the first one ('real hard') didn't learn English on these shores? Please please please don't leave it in that horrible American format. 'Listen really hard'.
Thanks!

[duncan]

Trapped in Bottle Factory is just a bit reminiscent of the stickers that say Trapped in Sticker Factory, Send Help.

http://www.thomasscott.net/stickers/

[Lucy]

yes, "really" not "real" please! thank you!!! xxx

[Ginny Slater]

HA HA HA..loved them all ...actually I just love Innocent..thank you for making it fun :)

XX

[Jolene]

"REALLY"!!!!
This is not America! :o)

[Caroline]

I have to agree with the 'correct grammar please' requests!! Otherwise I may have to boycott all the ones that say 'real' and get thrown out of supermarkets for picking up endless bottles and reading the bottoms to find one that doesn't say it ...

[Julian]

Just to echo what many others have said...please don't put "real hard" on your bottoms - it ought to be "really hard"! Thank you!

[Tinkerbell]

Excuse me. But I'd like to weigh in, as an American. We don't say 'real hard' either!

However, why doesn't everyone lighten up? This is supposed to be fun.

[Emma]

I've come here to complain. I just don't think it's fair that someone gets to win a competition by using a slogan stolen from another company. I thought the idea was to come up with original slogans. How nice that you want to send smoothies to Threadless. What about all the other people whose original captions weren't considered because you picked this plagiarised one instead?

Plagiarism is not cool and, more to the point, it's not innocent. This entry should be disqualified and another winner picked if you guys have even a scrap of decency. I can't believe you didn't Google the captions to see if they'd been used elsewhere - that's what anyone with an ounce of common sense would have done.

I'm really disappointed in you, Innocent. I didn't realise you condoned cheating.

[Jilly]

It really should be really even in jokes especially from an Oxford Phd person.

[Emma]

p.s. I don't care if Richard says he didn't know. If you are devising a creative slogan you should look it up to check it doesn't already belong to someone else. The fact is this was supposed to be a competition to come up with original ideas, wasn't it?

[Jack Mitchell]

Hi! I didn't know the competition had a deadline, I only bought a carton the other day and it was asking for suggestions on the base of it. Perhaps the deadline was only for the bottles? Perhaps I'm still in with a chance?!

My idea, for what it's worth, goes thusly:

"If you're reading this, you'd better hope the lid is on."

[Cherry]

I also wanted to submit a suggestion, but computer developed problems that took a month to resolve. My slogan was
"I'm the cheekiest bottom in town."
Cherry

[dan at innocent]

Hello Emma.

We're not fans of plagiarism either. Richard says that he didn't realise that someone else had thought of the same line as he did, and we'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt and trust what he says.

We also got in touch with Threadless to make sure that they didn't take it the wrong way. I'm sure they won't - they seem like good people.

And that's about it. We hope you've got over your disappointment in us.

dan

[Grannie Birdie]

late for 'bottoms' didn't know about it but how about'whoopsy daisy'

[fatboyandy]

how about?

in case of emergency, breakdance real hard

lol

[Eliska]

How about

real hard bottom!

[Advertising Ape]

'Originality is undetected plagiarism'
Inge

[adam cran]

does my bum look big on this

[greig]

My goodness ........... you are ugly?

[greig]

i have vodka in this bottle ???

[greig]

HELP .. this bottle is stuck to my lips.

[Taylor Croskell]

"STOP PEEPING"

[Rogier van der Maas]

Don't drink and drive

[Kelly Rowell]

Mmmmm once tasted NEVER wasted.....

[sarah howden]

yes, I too have a bottom...

[Shelagh]

In this context, I actually prefer 'listen real hard', although I am aware it is not 'correct' grammar. Makes it somehow more whimisical, funny and yes - innocent.

[Dude]

LOVE the fun creative thing you've done here with your product. But what is American ice hockey? Is that like freedom fries?

[Dude]

LOVE the fun creative thing you've done here with your product. But what is American ice hockey? Is that like freedom fries?

[Dude]

LOVE the fun creative thing you've done here with your product. But what is American ice hockey? Is that like freedom fries?

[Dude]

LOVE the fun creative thing you've done here with your product. But what is American ice hockey? Is that like freedom fries?

[Mike]

I love how at the end it says that John slept right through a earth quake. What a great funny thing to put down.