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January 31, 2012

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My now husband thought the Viz Profanisaurus would be a great Valentines gift for me but only as he wanted to read it. I, a bedraggled mum-of-two who was expecting a takeaway at least was not as impressed as I think he thought I should have been!

Some absolutely shocking (and hilarious) gifting etc going on! Last year my boyfriend and his flatmate thought it would be 'nice' to get me a single rose for after I had finished work... Lovely, except it was reduced to just a few pence in the post-Valentines day sale, was wilting, and was mostly because they found it so amusing... ;) Luckily I saw the funny side!

I got a car steering wheel lock one year and a card three days late which upon opening the heart fell off :( my boyfriend didnt really do valentines day until one year I didn't bother either he was gutted he didn't have a card but hadn't bought one either so this year we will hopefully get it right after 7 yrs!

It was a lovely gesture. A romantic meal at a lovely italian restaurant. Unfortunatlely due to my greedy attention of the wonderful food to choose from the menu i managed to set fire to the said menu with the candle on the table. Needless to say we were blowing ash off the table during the meal and the candle was removed!!!!

My now husband bought me jeans two sizes bigger than my actual dress size for a present, they were an awful dark green but he thought I'd like them! He lets me shop for myself now so it's all good.

My boyfriend and I got together the day after Valentines Day - after a lovely romantic night, and a couple of weeks of him going on about how he really likes Valentines Day. So you can imagine my surprise the next year when I woke up to no card, no presents, nothing! He thought it would be ok to go on the day to get me something - I was very confused as it was so not like him. So, as you can imagine, we had words! He then went out to get me something, saying 'he knew what he was getting anyway and was just running late'. What a load of rubbish! He came back half an hour later with a cheap card and Paranormal Activity on DVD (after me saying many, many times that DVD's aren't real presents). Needless to say, it didn't go down well, and he's assured me he'll be making it up to me this year! Lets hope he does!

I think without doubt the worst romantic gesture I have been unfortunate to be on the recieving end of was the year I discovered my partner of about 4 years sent roses to another woman the other side of the world for valentine's. After always insisting that buying a loved one flowers was a waste of money, he then tried to justify his faux pas by saying he had sent them as her father was ill. Needless to say, after that, I made him pack his bags and leave that night!!!

Do you remember that song 'butterfly' by crazy town? Well it was all the rage in the west country circa 2005. My boyfriend at the time (who had a flesh hole and a flaming clown tattooed on his leg) wrote out all the words on a bit of cardboard for me as a valentine's gift. Now that, is romance.

My parents decided to have a nice, home cooked romantic meal together on their first Valentines Day as a couple. It all seemed to go according to plan; Mum cooked Dad's favorite food, Dad remembered to bring flowers and there was probably a scented candle and mixed tape involved too. However, Dad had neglected to tell Mum that before said meal he had already eaten not one but TWO dinners that very same evening(work bash and pizza with a couple of mates) and was completely 'stuffed'. As Mum triumphantly brought out the piéce de resistance: a banoffe pie, Dad blanched and confessed his terrible deed (cue gasp of horror from Mum). That pie was never eaten that night and Dad was put on clear up duty, alone, wallowing in bloatedness and the guilt of being a plonker. 24 happily married years later it doesn't seem too catastrophic though.

i was given a quartet of horrifically cheap and untasteful gifts from what was obviously a back street exotic emporium one fateful valentines day.these were presented beautifully to me in a crumpled black plastic bag with a card (a piece of A4 paper donning a crudly drawn heart in biro) containing a less than romantic message and a lewd wink. This was not a joke as i had first thought...and was actually a genuine wooing attempt...the relationship did not last long and i spent that valentines evening watching blade runner..thankfully on my own!!

Flanimals, by Ricky Gervais, hardback.

During Divorce Proceedings my soon to be ex husband decided to confuse the situation greatly by arranging to send a stunning bouquet of lemon roses to where I was staying to get away from him! My now new husband had the joyful job of receiving the delivery and then attempting to locate me on a massage course thinking they would be important, it being valentines and all. Poor mans face once located, covered only in a large robe, as I just got very indignant and dumped them in the bin. Strangely he has never bought me flowers on valentine, but we both appreciate an excuse to celebrate the important things in life like friends, each other and our manic toddler son!

My other half recycled the Valentine's card that he had already sent the previous year and just added an extra line telling me his love had grown but, sadly, his wallet had shrunk! I wasn't entirely sure whether to be flattered by his declaration of love or annoyed that he had rummaged to find the old card instead of, at the very least, creating a new one "a la Blue Peter". As you might imagine, there were no flowers or chocolates either but he did take me to the cinema for only the second time in 23 years of being together :)

My boyfriend took me away to a hotel in Wareham,Dorset, for a romantic weekend. He bought fish & chips from a local chippie & cream scones plus a rose wine from the near-by supermarket.
Unfortunately the batter was raw on the fried fish and he spent all night sat on a chemical toilet.

I was sent a Valentines text from my boyfriend... except it wasn't for me. Pretty deadly. But thank Valentine's I got rid of that Dumbo.

Wasnt overly impressed to be given a hoover by my husband on Valentines day a few years ago.

Im still traumatised! lol.. my fiance thought I would love a set of ''Woofer Speakers''!? for mothers day last year! Sofa all the way hehe.. he will never be allowed to forget :)

A few years ago i woke up to a text saying I was dumped and that my now ex didnt love me anymore, that was a horrific valentines present to say the least haha!

not on valentines day but one of my neighbours wouldn't stop pestering me and did actually leave a bottle of Smart Price red wine on my doorstep. Needless to say, it didn't help him!!!

i was once given a book of homemade coupons to be used, by a guy i was seeing at the time. Two days after valentines day he stopped talking to me, deleted me off facebook and the like. Concidence??? i think he just didnt want to do the things in the coupons lol

What a pointless gift???

My car had broken down and my (now ex) boyfriend delivered me some spark plugs for valentines day one year :D

My husband completely forgot about Valentines Day..until about 4pm on the actual day. He decided to go to the florist and buy me some flowers. Unfortunately, they only had funeral bouquets left... but as he didn't see the big fuss about getting roses, decided that those bouquets were fine. He came home with a massive bouquet, looking proud that he had spent over £20 on it. The second I saw him, I saw the massive bouquet of white longi lillies, the exact same bouquet I put on my father's coffin for his funeral! He was in the dog house for days!

A newish boyfriend once bought me a set of kettlebells - he thought I might want to 'get fit' even though I wasn't overweight and had never shown any interest in exercise or otherwise expressed a desire to 'get fit'. Way to say 'I wish you were skinnier' !!

Last year my boyfriend and I had only been going out for a month. I didn't know him too well back then so I got him a massage gift set.

I then gave him a massage hoping to have it lead to something else. Unfortunately he fell asleep. While tidying up, I found the valentine card he had written and had to take it myself as I knew he wasn't planning on waking up anytime soon to give it to me himself.

Hoping this year is better haha x

Deodrant... not body spray... or perfume... deodrant... jesus boy... I DONT STINK. or do i? ):

I was once given half a pound of lamb's liver, a bag of fava beans (broad beans to me n thee) and a bottle of Chianti - I sh*t you not.
I have no clue who they were off but it freaked me out no end :/

my ex boyfriend took me to a travel lodge opisiute an 89p store in BARKING. (stating it was the cheapest hotel he could find in london) then took me to see a band he know i hated because he liked them. Needless to say, he became an ex very quickly.

My boyfriend said to finish work early as he was taking me out to buy me a suprise. Well my mind went into overdrive and I was expecting to pull up outside a jewellers,.......not a greengrocers- where he came back to the car extremely pleased with his purchase, a watermelon! He never really explained why he bought it and why he thought I would love it either!

One year when OH was really busy at work he rushed into the newsagents on Victoria station and grabbed a card - it was a birthday card- he wrote it and still didn't realize! When I commented he said 'Well it was with the valentine cards!' MEN! Still my husband after 32 years!

After turning up 4 hours late for out valentines date, he showed with a single carnation which he thought was a Rose !! Worse still they were from the bunch of "roses" that his dad gave his mum. Who said romance was dead!

iv received some pepe le pew??? valentines knickers with the slogan love stinks! i do love them and my partner knows me well to have bought them for me. but the meaning is a little lost this time of year!

A few years ago my (ex)boyfriend was away for valentines day and sent me a picture message (they cost quite a lot of money at the time!). It was a picture of 2 hippos he had seen at the zoo which were apparently stood in a heart shape. Well the camera on his phone was obviously not very good because it definitely looked like poo and not two hippos! And then he had the cheek to say it looked like us- HIPPOS?!?!?
I was not impressed!

It's got be the last minute 'bouquet' from the garage forecourt complete with reduced price sticker I got from an ex.

Last Valentines I re-received an old Valentine. It was a handmade card written to me by a boy who had had a crush on me way back when I was about 6/7 years old. Considering the age of the card (I'm now in my 30's) and the fact that I've moved continents since then and am not in direct contact with anyone from that long ago, I was completely enthralled and very moved that someone had found it then gone to the trouble of tracking me down - no mean feat as I have moved 7 times just in the last 7 years!!! Add to that that I haven't actually received a Valentine's card for something like 15 years (you think YOUR bfs are unromantic!!!!) you can imagine how deflated I was when my mother admitted she had found the card tucked in an old book and sent it to me anonymously as a joke. Talk about learning to take the temperature of the room!

He kept asking me did I prefer silver to gold, pearls to birthstones, did I find bracelets annoying or was necklaces easier to wear, did stud earrrings distract me less then dangly ones. He showed me lots of pictures of jewellery. So Valentines day rolled around and he handed me a box shaped present wrapped in gold paper. I ripped it open to find a while box. I opened it and inside was a diary organiser, his mum have just given him for his birthdayand which he had written in his personal details. His reason for giving it to me was it would help me be on time to meet him, (5 minutes late the day before, it's called traffic) real reason, he went to the dog's and lost all his cash. His response to my not hugging him and thanking him estacially for the "slightly used" gift. Why should I feel guilty? I had a great night out!!!

Oh and in case you missed it, sooo not with this person now, happily married for 4 years to a sweetie who brings me tea and toast in bed on the day and lights candles so we can enjoy a romantic meal when our son has gone to bed. :)

I had been with my boyfriend for three and a half years, and he told me he was taking me out for a meal on valentines evening. I got quite excited as he hadnt bothered with even a card the years before. So I bought a new dress and paid to get my hair done and was looking fine. I was hit by a ton of bricks when we arrived at McDonalds and he DUMPED ME!!! He thought it'd be easier to do with an audience. Worst valentines ever :(

My worst valentines gift was and iron and ironing board as my then boyfriend said I could now do his ironing so he wouldn't have to pay to get it done anymore. And he thought I'd like the fact it was all pink!! He wasn't my boyfriend the next day.

My car had broken down and my (now ex) boyfriend turned up with spark plugs. I'm a fan of useful presents but really??

Valentines day is also my birthday! So inevitably i expect a nice big surprise:) However....my boyfriend at the time was just getting ready to go travelling for 6 months to Australia! I can understnad that perhaps money was tight- but i was looking forward to a Romantic home cooked meal. When my birthday/valentines day arrived however I was not so pleased- not only did I not get any romantic meal (as he had made the point that he needed to see his friends before he left)- My gift was actually a new netbook to himself so that we could skype whlst he was away...kind of sweet but not really the gift I was hoping for!!! :-s xxx

where do I start! The first well meaning but disastrous Valentines gift was a bunch of red Tulips my hubby ordered online from Tesco. We missed the delivery and arrived home to find a card pushed through the letterbox to say there was a parcel for collection at the Post Office depot. It was Saturday and they were closed by this time. Needless to say when I collected them the following Monday they were in a very sorry state and they were destined for the bin...on another ocassion I received a washing up bowl which is red. OK it is a designer one and my choice. Luckily hubby makes up for his lack of romance in other ways. He is very helpful, always thinks of others and is a great Dad to our 8 year old daughter!

well my worst one was a bottle of lucozade when i was poorly one valentines day, i thought i was getting flowers and instead i got a fizzy drink i dont like - im not ungrateful but i hate drinks that are sticky and make your teeth feel coated in sugar! I would have preferred some paracetamol and a cup of tea!

The first date I had with my husband was to a cafe in London with live music, the music was so loud that we had to sit next to each other and shout! Half way through the meal we heard a phone ring and then a big sweaty, tattooed bouncer reached between us and grabbed a phone from the pot plant behind us, he then sat down at our table and proceeded to have a very loud 10min conversation with the phone cord trailing romantically between us!!! Needless to say we did not stay for pud!

The worst present I ever received on Valentines day was a card delivered special delivery. I opened the card, as you do and to my shock inside it read 'It's over'. At that point I knew me and my partner were over. I was quickly to move on though and now have a new partner so hopefully I won't be receiving another card like that this year!

My ex boyfriend was a total tight arse and i never got valentines gifts on the day - Instead i got a card and presents a week or so later when the shops had reduced them all - The worst one was a chocolate credit card that was past its sell by date too. No prizes for guessing why he is my ex..........

So....I once got a car cd player. I not now nor have I ever owned a car! I don't have a driving license and have never wanted to learn to drive!
When I asked him about it.....I got told.....well its second hand so if you don't want it I can give it to my brother for his birthday!!

This is going to be the worst Valentine's day ever. I was fired a few months ago and am totally dependent on my hubby for money so I can't really buy him a nice present. Moreover, my hubby has just informed me that we will have to shift in with his parents. Any romance that was left has vanished into thin air. Hope a free breakfast will bring some cheer into my dreary life :-(

Ex-boyfriend bought me several packs of vitamins & supplements as he thought I needed a bit of a tonic and he thought this would cheer me up. But alas no ! what did cheer me up was dumping him.

In our four year relationship my boyfriend has never once attempted to celebrate valentines day. I always make him a card and get him something cute. he always looks surprised, but never guilty!
twice he's even swapped shifts at work so that he's not off for it! what a meanie!

The day before valentines day, my girlfriend broke up with me and the day after valentines we got back together... That was a rather nice gift I think not :(

I was given a ring box (all nicely wrapped may i add) so of course i was ecstatic expecting it to be an engagement ring, however much to my disappointment i opened it to find a 20p piece and a huge laugh from my then boyfriend (now husband- fool i know!) And no it wasn''t an engagement it was a joke :|

In the States, we have this dish called 'sweet potatoes'. We take yams, bake them slowly, mix them with maple syrup and butter, top them with marshmellows, and warm gently in the oven until the marshmellows ly brown. It's delightful, sticky, a pleasantly warm mess...


My boyfriend, a Brit, tried to make me this dish one year. He knew it was my favourite, as I'd made it for him previously.


Only (and there's always an 'only', isn't there?), he used white potatoes instead of yams. He forgot the maple syrup and butter part. He didn't mash - he roasted.


Then he topped my jacket potato with marshmellows.


All in an effort to be romantic.


I didn't have the heart to tell him that it was all wrong, and so now, every year around Autumn time, he makes me 'sweet potatoes'. What can a gal do?

I was given a black plastic compost bin one year by my husband, a truely rubbish gift! and we are still married.................just.

I used to work in a garden center and one valentines day i took tome unpaid overtime to trim a plant into a love heart shape for a girl i really liked, i took ages getting it just right, and adding little extras to it like bows etc, however when it came to actualy giving it to her, she pretty much laughed in my face,saying how much of a cheapskate i was as some other guy had bought her a dozen red roses, i was heartbroken.

My nan had died on 12th Feb 2 years ago. and instead of a Valentines card I got a with sympathy card with "sorry about your nan, have a good Valentines day too"
And just to top it off I got given a present of a chocolate orange and wine. I'm alergic to oranges and I don't drink any alcohol :(:(:(:(:(

my EX HUSBAND brought me new hoover bags for valentines day lol,(obviously i was not impressed) luckily my new partner is not the same lol x

My husband now (boyfriend then)took me to the pub afew yards away from my house on our first date and then promptly spent the whole evening talking to the barman who he knew from school! He said it was because I'd told him of a few dates I'd had that were OTT and had put me off the men so he went for low key date!

There was the time we went to Edinburgh Castle for my birthday, it was his treat but it was the homecoming weekend so we got in for free not paying the £15 each. He then gave me a present that I excitedly opened only to realise it was the exact same earrings I had already bought and was wearing that day! We then went for a high tea at tigerlilly and I had to pay for it as he'd lost his wallet... oh and the 'make up for it present' was tea towels!?

One Valentine's day, my (now ex) boyfriend gave me a small card and said "Here, you're gift is in there" as he was handing it to me. Thinking it must include travel tickets or tickets for something exciting, I felt this rush of excitement as I was opening it only to find one stick of chewing gum with a post-it note attached saying "I guess I'm stuck with you forever". It wasn't a joke - that was my present. I'm just so grateful he didn't chew the gum on my behalf in an attempt to be thoughtful!

I was once given a REALLY nice bottle of perfume by an ex- that's not a bad gift you think- you're right exept for the fact that when he gave it to me he told me that it was what his ex girlfriend used to wear and as he was still in love with her he thought he would buy me the perfume to wear so as to remind him of her!!!

After 20 years with my husband I have suffered terribly with his 'Gifts' I thought I would share them all so you can see the pain I've had to endure over the years, and quite frankly, I cannot choose a 'worst one'.
On our first wedding anniversary the gift choice is 'paper' I got a book on natural disasters.
I think that is bad in its-self, but as gifts I have also received
Party poppers.
Jammie dodger biscuits, 'because they have a jammy heart'.
A pack of 3 pineapple juice
And sadly the book choice gets no better, last Valentine's day I got a tour guide book of Dubai, because 'I'd like to go and probably never will, so I can see everything in the book'
He also signs my cards ''To Claire Milner, from Stephen Milner''
To add further insult to injury, he saw the 7p Asda card that you have a picture of, and said it was ''Too expensive, because it's just a made up holiday for the card industry'' And I won't be getting a card because he doesn't have to prove he loves me.
Please help....I mean, please could I have the hamper?, I really think I've suffered enough and deserve something nice for a change. xx

A few years ago, my boyfriend was coxing his rowing club's men's boat. They had a knock-out regatta on Valentine's day, and I grudgingly let him race, because he'd said that the crew were a bit rubbish and unlikely to get further then the first round, and that he'd be finished by mid morning. However, they turned out to be a bit better than he'd made out! Not only did they win that first race, but the next one as well, and the next, And the next. In fact they went on to win the whole thing, and he wasn't back until the evening, and then went out again with his crew to celebrate their win! I was NOT impressed.

Thankfully he made it up to me the next day with a lovely dinner.

Well after being married for 16 years my husband told me that we cant afford Valentine's day this year, so I would love to win a slap up breakfast to cheer us both up !

My Hubby is very unromantic, doesn't even acknowledge valentines day, I remember one year when I was nagging at him, he did eventually give in and bought me a flipping toaster, only because we needed one, like he said to me I told you when we got married I love you if anything changes I'll let you know, that was 12 yrs and 5 kids ago LOL

My boyfriend thought it romantic to get me an electric blanket last year.
Practical - yes.
Romantic - no!
I wasn't sure what message he was sending on the most romantic day of the year. Perhaps it was a clue that soon the only way I'd get warm in bed was with the aid of my blanket?
However, a year later and it's still his legs I warm my cold toes on at night :-)

One year my lovely, but clueless husband bought me an ironing board cover. I was a little perplexed in his choice in gift so asked why he'd chosen this "well" came his reply "I was going to get you something better, but you already have an iron"

My worst Valentine's gift was an ironing board cover. It wasn't even a nice one. His thought was I like ironing so would appreciate it :(

One year the only red thing I received on Valentine's Day was a phone bill.

Got taken to a nice restaurant by my boyfriend of a year. Was romantic, until he asked me to pay the whole bill. He still then took and gave the waiter the money, so it looked like he paid. lovely.

I was once given a potato!! He thought it was romantic because in his opinion it looked like a love heart. It didn't at all!!!

The worst valentine gesture was this year! Last night in the supermarket I mentioned to my partner that the card I had bought him was really good and he would love it....a few aisles later we reached the card section, he stopped, started looking at the Valentines cards and asked which one I wanted. Asking if he was serious, he told me I was lucky I'd reminded him. The cheek!

I once recieved some scales for Valentines Day, which as you can imagine i was not to impressed about, so for his birthday i brought him some cutlery which he was very confused about.

Last year's Valentine's day was a mix of emotions for me and I think it will always be one of the worst/best Valentine's days ever.

The weeks building up to Valentine's day were also very emotional. My 10 year old daughter who was diagnosed with cancer of a sympathetic nervous system called ganglioneuroblastoma 6 years ago suddently started having problems with walking and she developed terrible backache so I kept taking her to doctors to see what is wrong with her again.

We found out that her tumour which she's had wrapped around her spine and inside her spinal canal for the last 6 years started growing again and pressing onto her spinal cord. The doctors were wery concerned about this and they were pushing for an urgent surgery date.

In about a week, I received a phone call that the only surgery date they can get for her is on Valentine's day and it will be at least 10h surgery and the surgery itself will carry 40% risk of paralysis.

I was obviously very concerned and worried but I had no choice. I had to trust the skilled doctors at the Great Ormond Street!

My wonderful daughter gave me a beautiful card, Lindt chocolates and lots of hugs just few minutes before she was taken down to surgery and I just simply couldn't stop crying as I was saying "good night" to her as she was slipping into a long dream due to the general anaestetics.

The next 9 hours of waiting was the worst 9 hours of my life but eventually we were called in that her pioneering surgery (taken her tumour out of her spinal surgery was taken out and spinal rods were inserted along her spine to support it) went really well and she doing fine. Most importantly the news that she is moving her legs was just amazing!!!

I was allowed to collect her from the theatre rather than the recovery room, this was unusual but at least I saw where all this amazing work was done.

9 days later, Jessie left hospital and 3 months later she returned back to school and doing really well.

So really, either the worst Valentine's day because of the surgery or the best Valentine's day because everything went well - depends on how you look at it really!!! :-)

At the tender age of 12 my boyfriend of two weeks came up to me on Valentines Day with a beaming smile clutching a packet of Wotsits.

They were indeed my favourite crisps and I was genuinely impressed.

If I were to receive a packet of Wotsits this Valentines Day I would probably be a little disappointed (I much prefer Innocent Smoothies these days!)but at the time my valentine made my day :)

I received once a hand written, badly spelt invitation to a secluded dinner for two. Black tie was the order of the evening. Not in a restaurant - oh no a very busy kitchen- with his mother doing all the cooking for the rest of the family as well as us with a curtain just separating the two. I suppose though we were 16 and the thought was there

One valentines as a single girl, I was lucky enough to receive a valentines card. I was so excited trying to work out who sent it! I later found out it was from my granny! But at least I didn't get the one saying 'to my darling husband' like my sister did!

In the late '80s I received a 12" tall Batman plush toy. With a framed, handwritten, calligraphed love poem. Through the post, from a penfriend.

I do actually regret giving him my honest opinion of what I thought of his poetry, I was far too honest and didn't see I was being cruel at the time.

Ive been with my partner 5 and a half years and never once recieved anything i keep hinting but still nothing needless to say it doesnt make me feel very special.

I received a pair of socks on valentines day once! :(

The worst gift I had was from an ex boyfriend who said he passed me a large cardboard box and said he had 'seen this and thought of you' inside the box was a very large pink chinaflowery piggy bank. I hate pink. I am a veggie. I was speechless. To make up for it he ordered a pizza but forget about the veggieness as it had bacon on it. To top it all off he had been eating kiwi fruit in his room earlier that day and when I went to bed I came out in a massive red rash (I'm allergic to kiwi) Not the best day!

My worst Valentine was from my then-boyfriend....

I was away on a university placement and we'd arranged for him to travel down to see me and make it a whole Valentine's weekend. I was really excited to see him and he was building up tension around my present saying he really hoped that I would like it. I never usually showed excitement but the anticipation took over and I was like a teenager all over again.

The moment arrived when we got into his car and he announced that it was time to present me with my present. I practically shrieked with excitement.

It was then that he handed me a carrier bag... no wrapping paper, fancy bows or card... just a carrier bag scrunched around a box.

I got over that and eagerly peered inside the bag...

To see a car cd player.

This was no ordinary car cd player. This was HIS car cd player. My heart sank.

He then proceeded to show me the new cd/sat nav/dvd player he'd bought and had fitted into his car.

I had his unwanted cd player.

Not only was it his unwanted cd player, it was the cd player he'd accepted £30 from his brother for a week earlier.

AND.... he'd asked me a month before if I would ever buy a car cd player and I said 'absolutely not' because I liked to listen to the radio for variety, news and to keep my insurance/break-in likelihood down.

PLUS.... We spent the rest of our 'romantic weekend' driving around every Halfords in the North London area.

Romantic, eh?


To top it off, when we were getting frisky towards the end of the weekend, he asked who had bought me the sexy knickers I was wearing. He had.

Our relationship ended shortly after. He's since been diagnosed with paranoia-schizophrenia but he refuses treatment because he doesn't think he has a problem.

Happy bloomin' Valentine's Day.................

Long before we were married, my husband bought me a toilet brush as a gift, and not as a joke. Not only was it the most unromantic concept for a present ever, but it was also hideous and badly made. The base was made of clear perspex with shells inside, but was basically just a handful of dirty estuary water, a couple of shells and quite a bit of sand. If it got moved, the sand and dirt would swirl about and look filthy, and to cap it all, the head fell off the brush and blocked the toilet a week later. Amazingly we've just celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary, so I guess love conquers all.

Got taken to a nice restaurant by a boyfriend of a year.Was romantic until he asked me to pay the whole bill. He even took the money and gave it to the waiter to make it look like he paid. Lovely.

For our two year anniversary I received a bottle of Spar own brand Ale, a copy of Nuts magazine, a scratch card and a Cheesestring. All from my wonderful romantic boyfriend! This was only two weeks ago, I'm still getting over it...

I received a sausage dog soft toy with the message 'I love you this much' written down its body. to add to its class and quality the legs were wonky so it failed to stand up...

I got a bunch of flowers from my then-boyfriend of 4 years, which had his mum's handwriting on the gift card. Later on I also found out he'd got his mum to choose my Valentines card too. I wasn't very impressed.

Last year I was 7 months pregnant and decided to cook a romantic meal as I wasn't up for going out. So while Mr was at work, I cooked, laid the table, lit the candles and put the music on. I served dinner as I saw him pull up and sat down. In he strolls questioning why it was dark as he flicked on the light and sat and scoffed his dinner. While I got the pud out he quickly rushes upstairs, thinking he was getting my hidden card and chocolates, I sat back down all giggley.......how ever, when he returned, he was in his 'comfy' clothes holding the playstation remote saying he was just popping next door for a quick call of duty session!! My gift.............the dishes :(

I got given a brick as a romatic gift once. Not a special brick, a standard house brick that he'd found lying in a pile of bricks in his garden. There wasn't even a good reason for why this brick could be romantic gift, his reasoning was just that he couldn't think of anything else :/.

Not a terrible gift but last year on Valentines day my fiance's beloved Grandma died which I suspect will have put a dampner on the day for the forseeable future. Would be nice to spoil him with a hamper!

I had a bit of a stalker several years ago, he left a pink jumper on my doorstep along with one of those tacky underwear crackers. The underwear cracker was acceptable as hideous mass produced cheap valentines tat, but definitely something i would never wear. It was the jumper that really creeped me out, he had clearly seen me wearing a pink jumper and thought he knew my style well enough to buy me another. Unfortunately he chose a hideous shade of pink in a incredibly unflattering style, and paid a lot of money for it! I had barely even spoken to the guy, but my 'friends' at the time later told me they had often seen him follow me up the road! Can't say i ever wore it.

Excited about my 30th birthday surprise after my husband had presented me with an umbrella as a gift when I woke up, I couldn't believe when I saw the size of the box in the middle of the living room. Hestitating for a while, savouring the moment and shouting out guesses I started to rip the paper off to reveal....... a juicer! An all singing all dancing juicer!! I don't even use a juicer as I buy innocent!! It went back to the shop that day and five years later he still thinks it was a romantic gesture! I'm not holding my breath this valentines day.

In our incredibly cold student flat, my boyfriend thought an ideal Christmas present for me would be a Tescos basic sleeping bag with head and arms holes cut out at the end so I could walk around the house wearing it to stay warm! Luckily he consulted a flatmate about it first and they advised him I would probably want something a little nicer. He still made one anyway for himself and I'll give it to him, its pretty warm.

I got brought a how to pass your theory driving test dvd.Apart from the fact that i had already passed that section ....

An ex of mine decided to 'give me' his share of chores for 1 day ie 1 lot of washing up and hoovering, apparantly it was my job the rest of the year... Needless to say I resigned pretty quick!

My (now ex) husband once bought me nothing for Christmas, other than a Whoopee cusion and a hair scrunchie! His excuse was that he didn't know what to get me and was surprised I was upset because he had 'warned' me that he hadn't got me a present! I stupidly hadn't believed him when he said he hadn't got me anything!

The worst romantic present I was ever given was when my then boyfriend purchased for me low calorie chocolates and a top I liked in a smaller size then I was. As he knew I was on a diet and they were supposedly both to motivate and help me. That relationship did not last long.

I once got aN OLD USED Birthday Card with a yellow sickie tapped on the" HAPPY bIRTHDAY" pART, AnD scribbled ONTOP IN PERMANENT MARKER THE WORDS Happy Valentines day..Talk about recycling !!! SO NOT IMPRESSED !!

Today is my birthday 11th feb so me and my hubby never celebrate valentines day ever as its so close. He says resturants are all set menus and packed and gifts are a rip off so we just dont bother. However the 2nd year we were together he said what we doing for VD and i said nothing as its right on my birthday and my beloved took this as dont even get me a card! not impressed however 7 years on were still together with our 9 month daughter and we tell each other we love each other every day so its not all bad x

I was asked what gift I would like and replied jokingly that I didn't really need anything apart from a bucket.....and that was all I got lol.Suffice to say we are now divorced and I am married to my lovely second Husband and have been for nearly 11 years now

Last year was my first ever valentines day with a boyfriend, so being a typical romantic female i was really really excited. however he contracted glandular fever the week before, so I ended up going round to visit my tired, ill, unable to talk boyfriend who couldn't even kiss me as it's contagious :( and I couldnt kiss him for the next two months either!

my boyfriend at the time had gone out on the town the night before valentines day and as he was bringing my prezzie to me the next day, on his motorbike, a terrible wave of alcohol induced nausea came over him..... he stopped at the side of the road to be sick but couldnt get his helmet off on time. HE VOMITED IN HIS BIKE HELMET WITH HIS HEAD STILL IN IT BLEEEUUUGH. When he turned up at my house, "late" i was greeted by a swamp monster covered in spew with added floaty carrot bits in his beard. Funny enough I really didnt ffancy the choccies he brought me!

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